Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I kind of get that. We started homeschooling our Older Son years ago (Grade 3) because the school was trying but unable to cater for high IQ and a specific learning disorder all rolled in to one kid.
I was literally shaking the first day of it, despite being thoroughly convinced it was the right thing to do, and reasonably well prepared.
I hate to think how much worse it is when it's a responsibility that you hadn't personally chosen to take on, when there's very little preparation for the role, and this horrible lurking fear of what will happen if you're not good enough at it.

Thanks @Smc that actually makes a lot of sense.

@Former-Member at the moment returning to a black and white implementation of our boundaries is the plan. I will be revisiting those and discussing them in counselling session to ensure they are still appropriate.

I may even still touch base with 1800 respect but will wait until after counselling app first. I do not want to spend too much time on this in counselling though.

It (the boundaries) just seems so *void of emotion to me. But there is not currently any positive emotion in our relationship anyway so the only alternative is to give up and walk away. And that is not an option I am willing to consider.

@Determined

I know Bro, will keep praying...

Thanks @Former-Member appreciate that a lot.

Continuing to keep you and Mr D in prayer also.

And @Smc 😊

Things are surprisingly calm tonight.

Does my head in the hot and cold.

So we just carry on as usual like nothing ever happened.

First day of school went ok.

S1 teacher has touched base with darling and will call every day. This I think helps.

Any concerns about progress and teacher will call me to discuss.

Counselling appointment tomorrow. I have decided that other than acknowledging it happened I don't want to spend any time on meltdowns. Just stick to the plan of what I have layed out what I want to work on.

Coounselling appointment today was rather productive.

Counsellor completely on board with acknowledging home environment then moving on to the foundations of what makes me who I am. Something that has not happened in the past. Has already made some observations that No one else has before that really resonate. And an accurate assessment on my personality and values that has taken others quite some time. And a valid hypothesis on the drivers behind that.

Have some homework that for once means something to me.

Add that on going teacher phone support has darling much more relaxed.

I am still quite uneasy though. Trying hard not to put up an emotional barrier.

Counseling appt = hooray @Determined

This round has been the most confident I have ever been @Former-Member . And phone consult is way out of my comfort zone to begin with. Has accurately picked out things that deep down I know but can't articulate. And has identified things I have never considered that make so much sense.