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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Another storm brewing here @Former-Member

and I am getting tired of holding things together. Uni is about to kick off and I'm not sure how I am going to cope.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Found out yesterday S1 NDIS plan has been approved for the next year ✅ relief. He has received a significant benefit from this in the short time we have been receiving services.

Also found out yesterday that have potential issue with centrelink. Feeling more than a little stressed about that.

Mixed messages as to what the issue actually is :nauseated_face: feeling quite I'll tonight after reading the most recent correspondence.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sending gentle hugs your way @Determined ..... my D2 has just been accepted to the NDIS.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Centrelink issues = 😵😵😵

NDIS success = yay

For you too @Faith-and-Hope , trust this goes smoothly for you and D2.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Good news re ndis @Faith-and-Hope

It took us over 8 months to get started on our last (and first) plan as we didn't know where to start. Have some good advocates to help us now and give more accurate advice. Lac has been less than helpful.

Bracing myself for another meeting to go over new plan later this week.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

What I was trying to say @Faith-and-Hope is If at first you don't get the answers you are looking fprndont be afraid to.ask someone else. And it is all about knowing what question to ask. How to ask it. Having the right support organisation to assist with this makes a big difference 😊

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Determined .....

I have always provided activities for my D2 for self-development, independence, socialisation, etc, so while I don't know for sure, I anticipate NDIS will assume some of them similarly to integrating other government support, as mentioned in their literature.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Faith-and-Hope our main motivation for getting our S1 in the ndis system is not about now but more as he moves into adulthood and feels the need to be more independent of his parents. So future proofing his emotional wellbeing.

Also we have a 50 something friend totally dependent on his 80 some thing mother. Apart from the obvious drain on his mother now what is going to happen to him when she is no longer there to support him.

We don't want that for our S1 or his siblings. Have been assured it is much easier to get supports in place now than later. Other than that due to age. I kind of feel responsible.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

And of course now we are embarking on assessments for our S3 for similar challenges as S1. With the benefit of hind sight hoping to get supports and interventions in place much earlier Hopfully with more positive outcomes.

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