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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checking in Bro, how are things going?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Things not too bad here at the moment @Former-Member . Have a funeral for my aunt this week other than that family activities while the children are on holidays.

Thinking if you also. Any news on the house front?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Good to hear things are steady Bro. On our home front, due dilligence to be done by Tuesday this week @Determined ,

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Went for an afternoon out after lunch today.

To a park just outside out of town that had a reasonably good playground for the little people. Little ones had a blast while the adults sat back and watched.

FIL my mum, sister and bro came along also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Went to an Aunts funeral today (My dad's sister) and found it much harder than expected. I was actually doing ok until in a photo slideshow a pic with MIL in it came up 😢😭 Proves emotions in this regard are barely below the surface. Brought about a flood of emotions for darling with regards to missing her mum.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined sending gentle thoughts your way, still early days in adjusting to life without MIL.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Was planning a day in the shed tomorrow but just received news from close friends re loss of a family member. Will take time out now to go and visit esp as we were most grateful for their comfort when we lost MIL.

Also received news on the drive down to today's funeral that a cousin of my dads is not in a good way. 😬😬😬

It has really brought to the front of my awareness today that life is far too short to waste any of it on resentment and/ or dwelling on the past. Also sadness for time already lost. Does not make it any easier to get past past hurts but it is a reminder of the need to work on things more.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Was able to obtain 'unofficial' results for last semester today. (Offical results are not being released due to strike action or some such childish nonsense). Was pleasantly supprised with a mark considerably higher than expected. GPA remains steady 😁

Got some advise around a job I was considering applying for. Had sort of decided it as out of my league but still worth investigating viability with some specific training. Turns out It is way over my head lol. At least now I know.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Finally got motivated enough today to enroll in next semesters university classes.

Still not convinced it is the right decision however in the absence of anything else to do... a bit like the key reason for starting in the first place. I need something positive to focus on in order to stay afloat.

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