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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member

After 5 hours and 1 massive blister I am pleased to say leak located and repaired.

It was a plastic T junction joiner that had failed. Bonus was I had it repaired before the plumber darling and FIL insisted I book arrived saving $$$ 😁

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yahoo @Determined 🙌🙌🙌

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Keeping a check on the water meter and it seems to have slowed down considerably.

About 60 Lph including usual household activities. (It was 80Lph + before with everything turned off).

Still a lot of water in the hole with water level rising but suspecting (and hoping) that it is just from surrounding ground water. (The area is quite waterlogged).

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Perhaps another check next family outing @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I finally got a response from uni today re options available. I am able to finish now if I want with a diploma rather than a full degree.

(This is an option as I am really over study).

Still have to do some more research re courses available at our local campus as part of my decision to continue or not. I have a fairly wide scope to choose from in that regard but I do want anything I do to be worthwhile and useful rather than doing something to fill a gap. The only alternative (to continue with study) involves 2 - 3 hours a week in travel. I tried that at the start if this semester and it did not work out.

I am also contemplating as an alternative applying for a job that in many ways would be perfect. I'm not qualified but have I believe all of the required attributes and the ability to learn what I need with specific courses.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Trust you will be at peace with decision @Determined @

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thought I was @Former-Member but now I am starting to unwind and can see the possibilities I am not so sure again I still have another 4 weeks to make a decision so trying not to over think or rush things.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined I find drawing a mind map always helps me make decisions or at least understand the items influencing my choices - a bit like those walls of photos and events pinned up in the movies with red wool joining them all together ... just a thought 🙂

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Now that's some handiwork @Determined, hope it fixed your water issue. In regards to making your decision, similar to what @Sophie1 mentioned, a pros/cons list may be useful in helping you make an informed choice.

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