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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Digging looks random but it's not.

Started out with a single trench with intention of finding the water line and following it then started following where the water seemed to be coming from.

Darling not coping with it at all well.

FIL not far behind her.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

ohhh hugs @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

On a positive note I managed to get some maintenance finalised on one of our cars this afternoon in preparation for a road worthy tomorrow so we can sell it. Hoping they don't find anything as we are already spending $1k on known issues. Kind of stupid when they are not safety issues that would need to be fixed if we were not selling it but have to be fixed on order to sell.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thinking about seeing if I can get a mini excavator tomorrow to speed things up bit @Shaz51 . I know someone who has a little one the size of a dingo digger that woukd be perfect for the job. Kind of gripes me spending money on what I can do myself but if it solves the problem sooner it may be money well spent. As a bonus I don't have to spend hours wallowing in the mud lol.

That is 2-3 hours work in those photos.

S3 kept coming out and asking if I had found the treasure yet lol. Got to love him. Unfortunately it was not helping darlings countenance though .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

S3 kept coming out and asking if I had found the treasure yet, ha ha @Determined , love that xx

close to 30 years ago when I was doing childcare , the children made a treasure box and buried it in the yard -- it is still there somewhere , one day will have to dig it up again @Former-Member , @Smc , @Tufftimes

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Haha @Shaz51

Later on when we were all inside s3 was playing in the living room and was 'digging in the mud looking for treasure' Poor FIL was finding it a bit much being reminded of the mud pie out front.

Daddy and daughter are sooo alike .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Finding treasure = 😀😀😀

Sometimes the best thing we can do is keep smiling Bro, even through gritted teeth.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Could not help but smile at that @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I just remembered I was going to head out this afternoon around sunset for a photo session. I passed a paddock with freshly bailed hay just on sunset yesterday and would have stopped but was mindful that darling would already be getting home before me and most likely need help with the children after a day out. (Darling was in the car with children and fil and I was on my bike). Had planned to go back this ave but found myself digging for treasure instead.

I expect hay will be gone by tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Food & drink to keep your energy levels up while you are on the job @Determined

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