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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Oh boy... been there done that. Hope you can get it sorted @Determined. 😞

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined There is always something ... hoping you can get things sorted.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Smc @Former-Member

Feeling a little less stressed but no less troubled since my last post.

I did expand on my first post but unfortunately it got canned due to unintentionally breaching guidelines. Understand the need for guidelines but did not have the capacity to make the requested amendment's so just let it go. Short version is that all three boys are creating anxiety and heartburn in their own unique ways at the moment and S2 is particularly fragile at the moment.

I have also been on the brink of conflict regarding a canceled contract. (Cancelled due to unethical behaviour on behalf of the almost contractor). LoL unethical organisation was not expecting that the fool they were intimidating and bullying had recently completed a module on business law and actually understood their rights under Australian Consumer Law. Thankfully this morning they backed down and I got the formal notification I was requiring.

I am contemplating dropping out of uni (if I can get recognition for work completed and be awarded with a lesser degree). If I do this then I am also out of a job as my current job is dependent on being a student. I need to schedule an appointment with a program adviser to discuss this. I am always mindful of making significant decisions when in my current frame of mind so treading cautiously. I just feeling that continuing in study is beyond my capacity at the moment.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

On a more positive note today has been pleasant and mostly relaxing despite not getting required study outcomes achieved. Went out for a birthday lunch with darling and FIL. Always uplifting to feel valued and appreciated 😊 Have to try and catch up tomorrow now for all of my recent inactivity.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, whose birthday... yours, or one of theirs?

Wondering if deferring your studies is an option?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Deferring studies is an option @Smc but means I would have to travel out of town to continue as course I am doing is discontinuing at the satellite campus I am studying at due to budget cuts. Already have to do that for one of the 6 remaining units but all 6. That would be too hard.

Studying at the moment gives me a cover story when people ask what I do. Expensive story but at least it is something .

It was my birthday. Darling had one earlier in May.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Trust that whatever decision is made that you will be at peace with it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have developed an annoying and embarrassing cough that is getting worse today. Usually comes on the tail end or during an elevated period of stress. Reflux related... Despite lack of symptoms in that regard previous checks have confirmed this via inflamed airways.

Had a productive session with S2s councillor this afternoon. We were able.to discuss some of his boggles with an impartial mediator. Some areas I can lighten up and all it needed was better communication. Other areas he needs to suck it up and trust me as to what is healthy and what is not. Councillor told s2 that was called adulting lol.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

One of his (s2) biggest complaints is that he has no freedom compared to his peers at school despite me trying to explain that I would not even look at some of the things his friends are allowed to do. I can't believe some of the stuff he comes home with regarding what his friends are watching. Makes it hard.

All I can do is explain things the best I can and trust that one day he may understand. I do feel for him though as it is a tricky stage of development as independence and responsibilities grow.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have you got family photos as yet @Determined ?

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