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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

On another positive note @Former-Member my change in mindset and approach mentioned over the weekend is going better and easier than expected. I am feeling some of the warmth of compassion seeping back in instead of annoyance and resentment. (Early days yet but this is encouraging for me).

On the flip side I am defiantly more emotionally vulnerable as with that tenderness comes a greater desire for emotional connection. Something that is likely to never happen 🙁

I just need to find a way to accept that and get past the perceived rejection.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Been thinking especially of you and yours today @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Likewise here @Determined. Lots of love.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member @Smc

Bit of a teary afternoon here.

There was a mothers day memorial service at the local cemetery that darling wanted to go to. It was much harder than expected. S2 particularly fell apart in a big way.

Darling mentioned she wants to cry it out but feels emotionally dulled. (Most likely med related?).

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, it's hard being teary when everyone else is in celebration mode. I've stayed off FB today. There will be too many cheerily sentimental posts.

Not to the same extent, but I was a bit teary myself this morning. Older Daughter didn't manage getting to Church and lunch afterwards due to being tired... There was a prayer for mums "doing it hard" during the service, and that got me "leaky". Was trying not to be obvious, because I was on the music team today, so I was right out the front in full view of everyone. I added in my own silent prayer of hope that everyone had their eyes closed. And other stuff.

So how's S2 now?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

S2 seems ok now @Smc I think the good cry and scream at the world helped.

I was most thankful that of all the people there no one looked at him with anything but compassion.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined @Smc

Living through grief ... living grief

Sending extra tight hugs your way.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Argh!!!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Feeling soooo stressed at the moment .

After an ok day finished with a bang.

Likely going to be a bigger bang after I speak with the principle tomorrow. 🧨

Seems S2 is unravelling more than I realised and I was already worried. Had a falling out and misunderstanding with someone he thought was a friend and the mother has escalated it at school despite us thinking we were dealing with it between us parents?! (She had contacted darling we thought it was being delt with. We defiantly were not ignoring her concerns). Now there is a witch hunt in progress. Darling thought the mother was a friend and defiantly thought we were friends enough to work it out between us.

Sorry just had to vent. Feel like screaming atm I am so stressed.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

So now I just received an email response from the school and I am even more upset than before 😒😭🤯😭

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