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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member exam was 😨😰😱🤯

Wait for 2 weeks for the results.

Work colleague was a bit on the frosty side but I was able to smile and be happy. Then had a good laugh when I got a text tonight asking me to cover a shift ... ummmm. Na think I am busy. Sorry.

Went for a 80km bike ride after work that was good. Didn't realise the loop I did had a stretch of dirt. That was ok as it was in good condition.... untill I got to the part council had just watered. That was 5km of down hill excitement lol. And not the kind of excitement I was expecting when I set out. Was great and relaxing though overall...

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I am pleased to report that I am a little more settled tonight after a lazy day.

I think yesterdays ride helped also.

I had planned on a bike ride with mum this morning and some uni work but rain washed away the bike riding plans and have just been feeling lazy generally. Hoping today's rest will enable me to get back into things tomorrow and for the rest of the week.

I am a little concerned about my lack of motivation at the moment.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have been trying to find the strength (physical and emotional) to go up into the roof looking for leaks that Darling is desperately worried about. Allready have one bucket up in the roof space local to where we had solar pannels installed.

I need to check if there are any other leaks while it is actually raining. I found a few areas of concern when I was up on the roof cleaning gutters a couple of days ago that may need sealing. We also need to add additional downpipes as the gutters all overflow when there is heavy rain.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, we discovered that the cause of one serious leak was a box gutter's worth of water trying to get down a matchbox sized aperture. So we added a second downpipe right beside the first one, which improved matters markedly! It did manage leaking again in recent heavy rain, so we're suspecting gum leaf buildup from the nearby tree. I assume the original job was "professionally" done... ??

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Our overflowing gutter turned out to be a blocked drain - thankfully easily fixed.

Hope you locate roof leak and more importantly that it easily fixed @Determined .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member @Smc commented.in home maintenance thread but roof.leak has turned into roof leaks.

Thinking gutters overflowing has a lot to do with insufficient down pipes/ down pipe sizes to carry the water away. Have cleaned all down pipes so definatly not blocked.

Darling is in quite a state of anxiety.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Roof aside, how are things going Bro? How are the boys coping? Your Darling? @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Things are as good as they can be at the moment @Former-Member

We are all on very thin ice but so far holding it together.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

*waves

Thinking of you.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member ,

Waves back 👋

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