Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, I get what you mean. And it doesn't help that it feels like giving ground in part of your life where you want to be making progress.

And if you take on another job, limit it to positions like "Relaxation Therapy Training School "Guinea Pig"". Y'know, sit back and let the students practice their assorted techniques on you...

The long ride out of town for this particular class was part of my self care activities for this semester (3 - 4 hours round trip each Friday). I can't justify that amount of time on the bike just for me to get out. I shouldn't but it would make me feel guilty. That is why the required travel didnt realy bother me and at 30+ km / l in fuel the cost was minimal.

People will be thinking that the travel was too much for me is why I quit... far from it I have looked forward to it each week even when it was raining.

There is an alternative to drop out later without penalty (financial or academic) but that is not guaranteed and requires doctors visits and certificates and explaining and ... ... my head hurts just thinking about it.

Sorry to be having a whine

😞

I'd be recommending you find some way of keeping up the rides anyway.

Just a thought- are any of your sons of the age and disposition where a ride with Dad could double as good parenting and recovery time for you?

My Dad used to drive me across to music lessons in a neighbouring town twice a week, and sat in the car for the hour most of the time. I realised years later that it doubled as his time out with a good book. 🙂 And with Mum's moods being somewhat BPD-style unpredictible at times, that may have been very important for him.

(And I don't think anyone will be offended at your "whine"... or offload... or de-stress... call it whatever.)

'Just a thought- are any of your sons of the age and disposition where a ride with Dad could double as good parenting and recovery time for you?'

Unfortuanlty I am on a restricted licence for the next 12 months @Smc so cant have pillions until this time next year. S1 is bursting at the seams to be able to ride with me, particually for school drop off/ pick up. S2 not so much. S3 wont go near the bike at all lol. dont know why but he really doesnt like it.

Had forgotten about the new rider restricctions. Hmm, plan B, could you make a regular weekly "outing" with your Mum? Doubling as "caring son"...

I'm heading to bed. Hope you sleep OK tonight @Determined .

Thanks @Smc , I should do likewise. Trust you get a restful sleep also.

Thinking of hitting mum up for a weekly ride. I have a few loops in mind of 2-3 hours duration.

So I finally logged on and formally withdrew from one of my classes late last night, when I woke up this morning I regretted it 😞 Was going to go for a longish bike ride this afternoon but was making progress with exam review so stayed home. Probably should have gone as too long in front of the computer has left me drained.

Will have to de-sync work emails from my phone I think and view them only when at work. Overreacted to a stupid comment(s) re ongoing jobs and sent borderline bitchy reply. Will see where that takes us next week. At least it may flag some issues that need to be addressed.

Would very much like to quit at the moment but it is a cruisey job and on a self care front it is good for me emotionally to be earning some money rather than solely reliant on clink. Just have no patience or capacity to deal with conflict. It may be possible to request a week or 2 off given the uni is big on supporting staff wellbeing.