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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor11 Mar 2019, 1:00 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, I'd say re. using the available funding or not- make sure first that there's no danger of the funding being reduced if it's seen as not being used. It would be a bit rough if it got cut back because it "wasn't needed", and then a year or two later you did need it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember13 Mar 2019, 1:20 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Thinking of you Bro as you adjust to life without MIL.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor13 Mar 2019, 3:11 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member it certainly seems that way. Not doing so well at the moment.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor13 Mar 2019, 3:18 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Smc that thought had crossed my mind... probably is the case which does nothing to promote the sustainable use of resources. particually as it is down the track we are most concerned about but have been told if we are not singed up now we will miss out later.

and as is the case wiht anything government funded, there are service providors out there who happily milk the system.

NDIS rant over for today. we are grateful for the support available...

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember13 Mar 2019, 3:23 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember17 Mar 2019, 6:32 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined

Checking in Bro.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor17 Mar 2019, 9:40 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

Hard to know what to say... I am not in a good head space atm...

Plenty of people doing it tough at the moment so don't want to whinge about my little troubles.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor17 Mar 2019, 9:46 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Meh. @Determined .... the reason we're all here is because we're all doing it tough. We can do it tough together, and you can give out as much or as little detail as you want.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember17 Mar 2019, 10:15 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined I'm with @Smc

You have had a tough run Bro.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor17 Mar 2019, 10:24 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Smc @Former-Member mostly just feeling tired and 'over it'... I have no motivation, concentration or energy to do anything. Things that I should feel empathy for just irrate me and people are picking up on it. People think they can treat me poorly and expect me to still respond with lollipops and roses.

Feeling rejected, unloved and unappreciated.

I have ben thinking I may need to drop one of my courses at uni (have a meeting tomorrow to discuss), feeling resentful about that is not helping matters.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.