Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

As good as it gets @Former-Member

S2 i bit of a problem atm. Thankfully he has an appointment with his councillor later this week. She actually called me this afternoon to see how things were going in prep for their meeting.

@Determined hope it all goes ok.

Moving forward ever so slowly @Former-Member but moving forward.

Going to be a long road I think but at least we now have someone on board supporting us with S2.

It occured to me earlier that it is almost 12 months since our last major crisis with darling. 12 months since her last attempt, and as far as I know any self harm. (None visible to me anyway).

Something to be extremely grateful for. There have certinally been some bumps and tantrums along the way and some reminders of boundaries and consequences etc but no major events.

There was a change in class of meds to a bipolar med that seems to have had a positive impact, not without side effects unfortunately but overall safety and wellbeing has definatly improved.

Perhaps this is why some of the little cracks that I have been seeing scare me so much... I don't know how I would cope if we went back to where we were 😔

@Determined

Since being on the mood stabiliser Mr Darcy has not felt suicidal (has not SH). Took me a long time to feel relaxed.

The main importance of the moment is perhaps not to confuse grief with depression/relapse however, telling them apart could be problematic.

It will be interesting to see if and when she does take up cycling again whether she goes all out or if she can maintain a more regular pace.

Sorry @Former-Member bit off topic on the other thread.

Emotions are all over the place atm and company not helping.

Visitor has also been filling the children's heads with garbage way outside our values and beliefs. Just plane rude when a visitor in someone's house in my opinion. I have told the boys just agree with him dont believe him as he took too much (prohibited) recreational substance when younger (true story) and now he is just confused and mixed up.

Aparently he gave Dad in law a big lecture about Australia day this morning so I went out and got a big Australian flag to hang out front... childish I know but... 😝

Could go on all night but wont. Just needed a mini vent.

Mum inlaw looking terrible today. Really unwell 😢 S2 in tears tonight and is sick with worry and uncertainty. Darling can see it also and it is dragging her down. Visitors just add to the tension. Back to school next week. This is always a tricky time of year at the best of times this year more so than usual. Again not wanting to indulge in a whinge fest just needing to Express some concerns emotions so I can refocus and move on.

Highlight for the weekend is we had close friends come for lunch. We have made an Australia day special for the last few years and realy look forward to it. It was a special and enjoyable time for all of us. Children cherish this couple and they love the children very much.

How did S2 go at counselor @Determined?

@Determined perhaps a time to let S2 know that people handle grief differently and that does not mean they care any less? Letting them know that when their Nan dies, they will feel different and perhaps uncomfortable emotions and each family member has these feelings but not at the same time (along with the need for gentleness with each other). I think there may be some children's books on the subject. Whilst targeted to younger ones, getting S1 to read it to his brothers might be a way of getting the message through to him.

@Former-Member unfortunately I got tied up with a tradeie doing work on our house and completely forgot s2's app till later in the evening so we missed it. Have rescheduled for 2 weeks time. Felt so stupid as he really needed it atm.

Re discussions with s2 about mum with s2. I actually got the opportunity to have that discussion with him last night and I think it helped. Also offered for him to have a 1 on 1 chat with mum inlaw about it as I believe this may help them both but particularly s2. Will see how that plans out.

In our discussion last night I was telling S2 it was ok to cry. Aparently he has never seen me cry so was thinking there was something wrong with him and he should hold it all in.

Another opportunity to explain that it was not healthy to hold it in and definatly ok to cry and grieve like that.