hopeless

Hi @Former-Member

It sounds like you are numb. That can be a protective mechanism from feeling the full force of past hurts/abuses that can come back to haunt. Our minds attempt to disassociate from the subconscious/conscious emotional pain and it's hard to express what is happening. I know that excessive stress or some threatening external environmental issue can trigger that in me at times. I can walk around in a fog on auto pilot but the pain is felt.

For now just being is enough - and whatever you are most comfortable doing or not doing. Don't let anything pressure or worry you for now, tomorrow will take care of itself - just breathe and let it flow through and out......

Your wellbeing is the priority now and we are here for you in any capacity you need. You are worth it. It's really hard when we have to deal with times like this alone in life. Please know you are not alone here. Sitting with you 🌹

Hi @Former-Member

The others here are providing some lovely support, but I will also drop you an email to check in.

Please take care,

Nik

Hi @Former-Member

Your welcome. Excessive stress is a terrible thing when it accumulates. I hope you feel a bit better this morning and had a chance to relax. Thinking of you 🤗

Hi @CheerBear
Thank you for thinking of me 🙂

Hello to everone 🙂 @Former-Member @Shaz51 @NikNik @utopia (hoping i havent forgotten anyone)

Having an ok day today, bit slow but ok. have cleaned a bit. Still lots to do but feel like im kind of waking up a bit. Anxious about work starting again this week but it might be good to get back into routine too. I seem to struggle hugely in holidays and im not even sure why... maybe its that the routine has stopped or that i have too much time to think, or just because a lot of 'stuff' seems to happen in the holidays as well as all the 'stuff' that i've put off to do because its too hard to do while im working that i have to do in the holidays (stuff that i find hard like organising dr appts for myself... which i didnt make it to anyway after spending two weeks stressing over, but now stressing over that i didnt go... oops!).

Everything has been a lot to handle lately, finally did get the washing machine... though there was more drama when it arrived because the freight people who delivered it and took the old one are apparently not allowed inside the house... So i had to get the old one outside the front door for them to take on my own and then tried to get new one inside which was too heavy for me to move at all. I ended up going to my work to borrow a sack truck.. but then still struggled to get it tipped back (weight lifting is on the cards once my sore neck/shoulder heals up). Add that to a broken vacuum cleaner (my dog may have chewed essential parts of it..) and the tire blowing on the car, its been a lot of 'little' dramas going on with some important blow up dramas and decisions that needed to be made including about whether to proceed with a new therapy option or not which was really... terrifying me and i think ive decided not to proceed which having made the decision.. i think i feel better with in some ways but also stuck in that im back to square one on my own. Not sure if it was just fear that was scaring me so much or that the therapy type really wasnt/isnt right for me and whether i have made a mistake in 'quitting' already after one meet and greet session and one proper session or not. feeling a bit like a failure and lots of shame. but it is what it is now i guess. As well as that having difficulties with my lil boy and medical oare options/opinions and decisions to do with his stuff and behaviour that is complicated by so many things.
but today at least i guess i am less frozen. though the overwhelm feeling creeps up when i realise how much i have to do now. thank you all for hearing me, it makes such a big difference just to be heard.

I hear you @Former-Member my friend forever , sending you hugs