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My wife, my hero and Complex PTSD

My wife, my hero and Complex PTSD

Hi everyone ! I am very new to all of this. My wife suffered through a terrible abusive childhood and neglected adolescent years. Her complex PTSD symtoms have started with mood swings, short tempered and in the last few years progressed into agoraphobia, severe stress, suicidal thoughts and complex PTSD.

She is my hero because she recognised it early and sought help, still managing our home and our four girls as best as she could until it became really bad. In the last year she underwent treatment twice in a clinic for a few weeks at a time, which helped her a lot. She sees her psychiatrist as regular as possible.

As the sole provider working FIFO it is hard to be there for her and give her the support she needs. When I am at home I find myself in a situation where my reactions are none helpful or supportive. I have barely any knowledge of what she is going through nor do I fully comprehend it.

So many times I feel like a child in the dark. It's hard to find any good literature for me to read and learn about it.

I hope to find other husbands out here in the hope of sharing experiences and how they dealt with their partners' PTSD.

22 replies

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In response to: My wife, my hero and Complex PTSD

Re: My wife, my hero and Complex PTSD

@Cracked73 , I could have written this myself. I also feel I am at the end of my rope and mental health. I love my husband but feel his complex-PTSD consumes him and he has no empathy for anyone but himself. I have had conversations with him where I have told him that if he doesn't love me anymore to please admit it and we can figure out the best way forward for the kids. I feel like i am here as a mother and financial contributor and although he does kind and caring things here and there, the weight of his trauma turns him into someone I don't know most of the time. It is sad because I still love him but as the song says...sometimes love is not enough. He also makes compulsive expensive purchases. It is a common thing for people with complex-PTSD apparently. I try to keep myself busy and like you, read books on the subject, try to reson through trigger events, pray and hold my children tight. I, like you hope your wife and my husband see the light and come back to us one day. I don't know how much longer I can hold on and I do pray for a miracle. I miss him. He is not the man I married. I do wonder if the man I married is somewhere inside him. Wishing you strength and peace.

In response to: My wife, my hero and Complex PTSD

Re: My wife, my hero and Complex PTSD

@Kerinoel Thank you for posting this. I know my husband doesn’t love himself so in a way I know he is not capable of loving me and it isn't my fault. I think once he did but after the kids were born he changed. I hope he continues his therapy, his healing and eventually learns to love himself and me ( the way I deserve to be loved). You are amazing 👏 and congratulations on all the hard work towards your healing.

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