Good morning, @eudemonism. It's interesting to read your experiences with meds too. For me, I've never really been an 'old and usual self', having experienced serious depression and anxiety ever since I can remember, even as a child. The manic end of my bipolar condition didn't rear it's head so much until I was in my teens. Even still, I resisted taking meds for a long time, but suffered so much mental and emotional pain, and caused havoc for other people due to my illness, that eventually I asked for them myself.
As we know, they don't solve everything, but the relief from pain they have given me has seen me mostly continue with them for about 30 years now. I expect to take them for the rest of my life, seeing my mental illness as largely a biological condition, like any other physical illness. As it happens, I've actually had more problems with meds for my chronic physical illness (crohns disease) than the ones I take for my mental illness.
I think it's good that you can see that your inconsistency with oral meds has led to this situation now with the depot injections, as I feel it's always more empowering to recognise our own part in our life conditions and take some responsibility for that. At the same time, I feel for your frustration with the current situation. I hope that things may look brighter for you in the future. Wishing you well.
