Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.

Yes @Starta, I understand, and I'm really sorry. Also sorry that your unit will close for 3 days, very disappointing. But dont worry ... they wont forget you. How could they, someone as adorable and lovely as you?

I agree that it would be kinder not to tell Deebi yet. She is going through enough with her BP and her travels. Hopefully her visit with her brother and family will help soften the mania fall for her. Thats so like you Starta, always thinking of others. One of your most endearing qualities, amongst many.

Yeah I am struggling badly Starta, just a combination of many factors all converging. Call it a perfect storm if you like. But I will get through it, I may need to just batten down and weather it. I will think of you though, as I always do. And think of you sitting with me, holding my hand through the worst. It is a reassuring thought Starta, and one I would like to reciprocate to you. You will be okay Starta ... I know it.

Love and hugs to you also. 💜💜🤗🤗

Sherry

hello @Starta, sending you tender hugs

and thankyou for your photos of your 2 special fur babies friends...

Dearest @Starta

Kya and Ebony are beautiful. Maltese cross I think you once said? Maybe Maltese/Silky? Thank you so much for sharing them with me.

Starta, it is understandable and very natural to miss someone you'd been with for 40 years. Irrespective of how badly you were treated by them.

I hope you may always have something good or nice to think or say about your husband. I dont believe anybody is all bad. If we allow ourselves to, I think its possible to find good qualities in everyone. I honestly see no reason for you to feel guilty or ashamed for trying to see the good in someone. Quite the opposite, you are to be commended for doing so. I strongly reiterate however, that what he did to you was so terribly wrong Starta.

You must have felt so sad and abandoned by your children when they stopped visiting. Do your other children have any contact with your son #2 now? I have no idea what their thinking could have been Starta. I feel sure that if they knew what you endured in order to protect them, they would not have abandoned you. Perhaps one day you will have the confidence to tell them. It may feel disloyal to speak ill of the dead Starta, but sometimes it is better that the truth comes out. And perhaps you owe it to your children to tell them.

Starta, if you rather not talk about this, thats okay. But can I ask if any of your sons show similar traits to their Dad? I ask this because it is possible that their partner/s may be going through difficulties too. It is very common for the type of behavior your husband displayed to become instilled into children and for them to do similar as adults themselves. I hope this is not the case, and its highly likely you were able to shield them from his behaviour most of the time. But it is amazing how much children pick up, even if we dont realise it at the time.

Starta, you said 'I understand if you want me to go'. Whatever do you mean? If you are asking me if I wish to continue talking to you, then of course I do. I greatly admire you Starta, I think you're a truly wonderful human being. The things you have endured throughout your life are horrendous, nobody should ever have to go through what you have. You have been at the far end when it comes to the extremes of human torment. That is why I am so pleased for you to finally be receiving some meaningful and worthwhile care in the hospital now. I have hope that you can be restored to someone that YOU can love as much as others who know you do. You do so much for others in your life, both online and offline, and its time for you now. The long overdue care you need ... finally.

I hope you are sleeping soundly right now, as its now 11.30pm. I will just leave you these couple of photos of Holly here for you. She is my special friend.

Love and care to you.

Sherry

Holly with Moo

Morning @Starta.

I hope you're okay this morning? I know you will be very concerned about your good friend. I am too after reading her latest post today. I wish I could let her know I care and that I am praying for her. Keep going with your progress there Starta, you know that is something which will make Deebi happy. Thinking of you my dear friend, and Deebi too.

Sherry

Hi @Starta and thank you so much for your message on my thread. Yes I know you so badly want to go home from the hospital. But the time will go quickly. And I believe you are making progress there so it would be a shame to go home too early. There is absolutely no pressure to post. But I am concerned about you, because ome of your usual supports are not there for you right now. Our mutual good friend is unwell, thankfully not a stroke, but clearly still unwell. Her illness and being away, means she is not there for you as much as she normally would be. It is my intention to give myself a few days break from here, just to clear my head. Get the cobwebs out and allow myself to breathe. But I dont want to leave you without someone to keep an eye out for you. Someone who I know will care and understand you. So I hope you dont mind me tagging @Zoe7 in here. You dont have to talk if you dont want to, but Zoe is great and has been a fantastic comfort to me in the past.

Much love to you Starta. I will leave a couple more pictures here for you. One of a number of things I've always loved about here is the ability to post pics. Two are of some art I was doing for a while last year. One is from my garden this time last year. The franjipani is a little later this year as it got hit by frost in winter and I had to cut it back hard. And the last is of a little mother ringtail possum which visits me most nights. She had 2 babies this time last year and they also visit now. But they are not as tame as the mother. The Mum takes food from my hand, the babies dont yet. She has a particular passion for raspberries. I hope you enjoy the photos.

Please take good care of yourself Starta and allow the MH professionals to work their magic on you. You deserve a far better life than you've had so far, and this could be the start of that for you. Love and hugs to you. I'm sorry, I cant stay right now. I'm just too emotionally exhausted. I know you will understand. xx

Sherry

Artwork from last yearMore of my artworkFranjipani from my gardenMy resident Ringtail Possum with Raspberry I gave her

Here for you too @Starta Will read over the thread and catch up on your story - only too happy to help out @Former-Member and support you while she is taking a break Tag me anytime

Dearest @Starta (waves to @Zoe7 @Shaz51)

Starta I think by now you would have been transferred temporarily to the acute ward at the hospital. Please just remember that this is a TEMPORARY measure. Thursday you will be back into your comfortable little room downstairs again. I know it seems very unfair and a little scary, but I know you will be okay. You are very brave in what you are doing. But I dont have to tell you that ... you already know.

Anyway I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and will drop by with some Christmas wishes tomorrow.

Kindest thoughts to you my friend.

Sherry 🤗🌺💕

thinking of you @Starta and sitting with you

Hello @Former-Member..It’s horrible here,I don’t like it at all.....the nurses are not nice and they are with me all the time..They tell me to go to the common area..I can’t to many people there..they don’t understand...All the doors are locked I can’t go outside or be by myself....it’s not fair, I don’t want to do this...I want to go home....

Starta..

ohhhhh holding you @Starta