soul’s year of recovery

@soul continue to keep you in thoughts.

@soul thinking of you and trust things continue to go well for you.

Glad you have popped by briefly @soul

@Faith-and-Hope @Darcy @Shaz51 @lapses @utopia @greenpea @-Enigma- @Determined @outlander @CheerBear @Maggie @TAB @Bimby2 @Appleblossom @Bubbles3 @Hamsolo01 @Adge @Ant7 @Phoenix_Rising @Snowie @mohill @Niqueeta @SunShower @eth @Sophia1 @Snowie @Sans911 @frog @lisajane @Mazarita @Zoe7 and anyone else following my story.

Wow - here we are - three quarters of the way through the year and my recovery continues both physically and mentally.

On the physical side - I no longer go to any physio sessions. There is still pain in my shoulder and in my hand especially when I wake in the morning. I have accepted that this may be as good as it gets. I don't have to take any medication for it as it doesn't stop me from doing just about anything I want to. Have to accept the uncomfortable feeling and press on.

I continue to walk every day - usually more than ten kilometres. It's my way of getting exercise and clearing the fog from my head. The distance I walk usually corelates with how stressed I am feeling so if I have spent three hours or more out walking, it means that there is something going on that I am trying to deal with.

Yoga too has been a regular feature and I go about five times a week. Thanks to @CheerBear and @Phoenix_Rising for introducing and encouraging me with that pursuit.

I also incorporate some weight and floor exercises on a daily basis to strengthen me. I eat healthily and fortunately haven't succumbed to any illnesses of late.

On the mental side of things, I'm doing mostly alright. I am still in a relationship with the guy I started seeing a few months ago and it has advanced to the stage where we consider each other as partners - woo hoo. Having been in an abusive relationship previously and then a long loveless marriage, I needed to take things slowly and niggling doubts and insecurities creep in from time to time. My man whom I shall refer to as "D" has some issues of his own but then who is perfect? The beautiful thing is that we can deal with all this stuff in a very honest, supportive and open way without judgement. He knows a lot about my past - not all of it. I felt I needed to protect not only myself from the trauma of reliving it but also him. How could he understand and how would it affect the way he sees me? From what I have told him, D thinks I am a very strong and courageous person.

My ex partner (the BPD with the violent nature) continues to email me - I had blocked him from messaging and phoning but his emails come through. They are still filled with all the obsessiveness that he displayed when we were together. He doesn't talk about his life - just says he is constantly thinking of me, has never stopped loving me and brings up the memories he choses. I have ignored these and hope eventually that he will stop. All prior communications to him that have said that it's over have gone unheeded.

My kids are well and are mostly content and that makes for a source of happiness. It's what all parents should want.

On another front, in an attempt to combat loneliness and to help out with the expenses, I sought out a boarder for the spare room now that my daughter has left and I am living alone. Well - that didn't go well. I advertised that a small dog would be fine. I ended up getting a very naughty and destructive beagle whose owner didn't pay me and had some obnoxious habits. It was very stressful but now I am back by myself. Not sure whether I will give that another go. There are some times when a couple of days go by and I don't have a meaningful face to face conversation and I miss that.

Sometimes I think about getting an outside job, not just one that sees me in front of a computer where I would have colleagues. Dunno.

Things with the family (the nasty siblings) are the same - no contact but I have to accept that. So that's where I am for now. Life has definitely improved. It's not without its challenges.

Hi @soul

Lovely to catch up your news. Trust things continue to go well with D (aka the "Soul man"?). None of us are exempt from difficulties.

Sounds as though you are getting plenty of exercise.

Volunteer work is one way of connecting with others and need not be too onerous.

Darcy

PS - if you don't want to receive them you can block emails by marking sender as spam

Hello @soul

it is soo wonderful catching up your news.my friend

Ohhh @soul

you will have to show us some of your photos you have been taking when out walking , only if and when you want too xxx

Hello @soul

Lovely to hear from you as others have said...

You are courageous and strong....

I realise that about myself and now also understand that I do not need to hear the words from others...I do not need permission to feel that way or feel that I am self-centred either..

Those were the go to thoughts in the past...definitely drilled into me by such twisted manipulation...no need to say anymore on that...

Continue to enjoy who you have become as well as the relationships with your children and "D"

take care

Sophia

From my walk this morning - the native plants are in full bloom