rough time

Hello sister @Shaz51

I know we don't chat much, but I'm always glad to see you around. And I try to keep up to date with what's happening for you.

How are you today?

@outlander I feel similarly. Often the talking does not help, but sometimes it does.

It sounds as if you are being clear with yourself about the issues, and that is HUGE.

If you cant limit your environment any more, maybe you need to build an "interior castle" to protect yourself when the negativities arise. Build it with super thick stone walls and lavishly furnish a section just for you. Make sure all the essentials of life are brought inside. There will be stables and rooms for horses ....

and a wireless internet connection ...

You also know that's just your negative mindset talking. You're not a waste of resources at all. You have every right to access services anytime you need them. And this is one of those times. You don't have to know what you need sweetheart. And you don't have to hold it all together either. I understand that you have responsibilities but even taking five minutes to go to the bathroom, have a cry, splash your face, breathe is all ok.

I'm here holding you close @outlander

If you can, let go. Don't hold the hurt inside. Let it out. Cry into your pillow. Sometimes life is just damn difficult. And fkd up. And painful. And scary. And you don't need to be brave all the time. It's ok to be vulnerable. It's ok to let go. Sit close to me. I got you.

I don't have the answers, and I understand how much you're hurting right now, but I'm hearing every thing you say. I'm right there with you ok. You can get through this. You've done it before. You'll be alright. You just have to go through this difficult time and you'll be ok soon. I'm not going anywhere tonight but to stay with you.