rough time

For a start there's a massive generational gap between you and your Pop @outlander

You and he will probably never understand fully the others perpespectives because you both live in two very different time spans.

There is not a damn thing you can do about his behaviour, however, it might help to see that he is hurting too as he has his grand-daughter caring for him, which changes the dynamics of a relationship considerably. He's also getting older, loosing his vigour and independence as well as becoming increasingly dependent on you in particular for support. There's no excuse for his behaviour, but he's lashing out at the closest person to him. Which is you!

You will never be able to change his behaviour at this point in his life, but you can establish boundaries and you can also tell him his treatment of you is harsh and unfair.

Have a look at DEAR MAN skills in DBT. It helps you to be assertive and get what you need in a calm manner. You probably realise that there's no point in arguing with him, as you'll never win.

Perhaps with the money/bills situation you could possibly put away a kitty jar for the bills, contributing a set amount for the bills. Keep these extra funds in jars labelled for each account. It is winter too so its bound to be higher.

@outlander

You know that what your Pop told you is not the truth. He is just an old cranky man, who wants attention, & you are the target, unfortunately. Let him go to a Retirment home, maybe he will have people his own age to make friends with, then he will be happy. He is dumping on you, & I don't like that, he is cruel sorry but I have to be truthful here. I am very angry at him for not being more, decent when he talks to you. He has BIG problems that you can not fix. Please stop letting his problems destroy you health, & happiness.

Love U!

Bella xoxoxo 🙂