rough time

How are you doing @outlander?

I'm kinda ok. I've had a headache all day. But I've managed to get organised to submit an important application for a volunteer position. I had a number of hassles getting it done, which caused a lot of anxiety, but it's done.

I've got to see my pyschologist tommorrow afternoon and I'm anxious about telling him how much I've slipped back.

Are you applying for a new volunteer role? @Sans911 or is it for something your already doing? Paperwork sucks.
Hows you go with the student yesterday?

I know your anxious but as youve said to me its ok not to be ok and hopefully he/she will support you properly if he knows whats happening for you.

Yes @outlander it's a new volunteer role but in mental health but I'm competing with others for a position as there's only so many positions. I'll know in a week's time.

Good luck @Sans911 im sure youd go great in that role.
Howd you get on today? Was nice seeing you on through the day

And sorry yes i know you asked how i am but im worried about saying anything. And dont really know how to get it out

@outlander just let it any old how. Just say it, if you feel comfortable doing so.

Ok ill try just give me a few minutes to type it up @Sans911

-sleeping troubles- im barely sleeping at all again. Im rather tired lacking concentration and its not helping my driving ability.
-the other day was the final straw for montioring symptoms. I was that unwell that perhaps i shouldve went to the ed but didnt so ill be speaking to gp tomorrow about it. Could barely get up off the lounge and any movement i had was overwhelming and struggled for air.
- emotions all over the place- they arent very regulated at all. The main one though is depressive sorts of feelings.
-the suicidal thoughts were really strong the other day and while sitting in my car i had plans being made. Havent been that close for a while now.
- i feel very worthless as a human.
-with the colder months pop struggles more so will need to up my game but i cant at the same time. The house is a mess and i cant clean the damn thing all that much.
- besides the past few days being hard. Today was the same. Hard. I felt very stuck. I had to hve the kids but i had no support at all and not one person i asked wanted to help. Had to juggle kids and horses that didnt want to cooperate and whilr i was trying to catch one of the horses i had one of those breathing fits i had when i was getting sick with that chest infection.
- i had xrays done and my joints are still broken which has me worried because the hand specilaist is worried about how long its taken already from the last session and now its been another almost 2 weeks so now its been 5 or 6 weeks mostly with no treatment so that appt has me abit worried.

I think thats all atm.

Im sorry. You guys really dont need my stuff. Its messy and i do t want to be a burden. Im already one offlinr i dont wat to be one here too. Im sorry