rough time

yeah pd/h was really fun i found. Always more interesting than PE I think.

Ah yeah, the bermuda triangle is magnetism and the poles. Area 51 is military testing (whether it has aliens there or not i dunno haha).

haha that's great @outlander that you still speak to the teachers. I think that they would really like that actually. today at work i spoke to a teacher who used her arts degree to do teaching as well. Interesting career, always remember the good teachers I do.

mine was private but not the quality you'd expect. The maths department was TERRIBLE. So was the organisation. A good deal of the teachers got the job through nepotism.

soz i was checking something, went afk @outlander

Yep i had some of the best teachers ( when i finally asked for help that was) pd/h i would prefer to the physical side of things. Lol i cant remember half the stuff i learnt from history but at the time it was good.
Yes the teachers seem to enjoy our chats though some i run from because i was a shit at times and we never saw eye to eye lol and still dont but all well. @MDT

Wow @outlander that's a tough question to ask, but I'm humbled too that you would ask me. I remember you're close to your nan. Are your sisters the same? And how many years is it now?

Grief has no time line though. We all heal in our time and way. I've lost people in my immediate family, and it was hard, but the closeness wasn't there, and I have spent a life compartmentalising things so I don't have to deal with them.

I'll come back in a few minutes with some ideas.

@Sans911 is exactly right @outlander about how we process grief

I hope it was ok to ask you @Sans911
I was very close to my nan. My sisters not so much.
Its going on 3 yrs tomorrow. The first 2 yrs i was busy making sure everyone else was ok that i didn't really think about how i was going. It hit me hard but i put it aside for the sake of others and shoved it down. Its really hit hard the end of last yr and this yr when i realised that everyone else is ok. They can happily talk and share stories about her obviously a tear here and there as its there nan/mum/family member too but i struggle with even being able to accept she is gone and how much i actually miss her. My heart hurts when i think about her. I didnt realise how close we were till she wasnt there anymore.

So you really haven't taken the time to grieve over her have you, and it's only know that @outlander the carer is allowing time for herself. Well then grieve for her and try not to listen to others who won't understand why you're not at their level. Everyone is different.

Would it help if you wrote her a really long letter? Like she was in the room with you, and you were having a chat to her? Pour your heart to her. Tell all the things you'd want to say if she was here right now. How much you admired and looked up to her. How much you wish she was here with you to guide you. How you miss simple things, like having a cup of tea with her, or other things you used to do together.

I actually done a letter to her around xmas time @Sans911 i dont have it now though. Even while writing that before i still hesitated about alot of things i wouldve liked to had said but even then couldn't do it on paper. I guess i could do it again..

I posted to early @outlander. The other thing I was going to suggest was you could take that letter to her graveside if that's what you do on her anniversary and read it to her. And if tears come, let them fall.

Something I do whenever I'm overseas or even here at home is I go into a church, and I light a candle for each of my nephews that have passed to acknowledge them. I'm not religious in the church sense, but it's a place of sanctuary and healing that's more important.

Don't hesitate @outlander. Write from your heart and write without thinking too much.