rough time

@outlander
HAPPY EASTER!
My Precious Little Angel!

((((((((Outlander)))))))
GOD BLESS & my Love 4 ever & a Day!
Bella XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX & more! 🙂 <><<

@Bella1978do you have a thread i could come support you on? just curious casue would lke to know how your going and how today went too

She has a shadow
it follows her around everyday
it haunts her in her sleep
it haunts her in every way

darkness fills her heart, it fills her soul
the darkness swollows her whole
it creeps into her eyes
but she will tell you shes fine

behind the smile there are tears
inside her heart there hold many fears
in her eyes the darkness sits there
theres no strength left, only despair

if you listen closley, you will hear pain
and right now shes struggling to stay sane

im really not coping all that well. its suppose to be a time for celebrating and being happy but im hiding, struggling to cope with SH/SI thoughts and urges. my family expectations are again throught he roof. my pop has gone right over my head after discussing the same thing for 2 months and him agreeing that the spare room can wait till we do our big clean up and any visitors can stay on the lounge or on the air mattress (very good quality one) he went right over my head and bad mouthed me to my mum to which then made her contact-me and we had an argument over it. and so tomorrow im not sure how its going to happen but somehow i need to clean the spare room up and out which has furniture and other things in it that has no room anywhere else until the big cleanup happens which involves lifing boxes. thats not going to work all that well considering i basically only have one arm. the other arm cant even hold the weight of an empty cup atm and shooting pains upon movement arent fun and the more i move the worse it is. but nope pop wants that bedroom cleaned up for this visitor to stay ONE night.

pops been gone for 5 days and ive had not one break. i was hoping for a day to myself but thats not even close. ive been babysitting or doing everything else that needs to be done. its so loveley to be greeted and found out how my pops blaming me for everything and talking to mum about it instead of me.

ive really had enough. im sick and tired of all of this. sick of fighting. sick of trying.

just about ready to dissappear.

@outlander

@outlander-can we do something together to help you manage tonight?

thank you @Appleblossom

i dont know what to do @Sans911 i cant regain my control everything is just everywhere

Maybe accepting where you start and finish is a reasonable way to go.

@outlander Hey @Sans911

Control gets complicated.