outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
you dont need to apologise to me @Bella1978 its hard when loved ones are in hospital esp at special occassions. . your mums showing signs of improvment which is really good. 
spending time with her sounds good tomorrow. is there something you can do tonight for abit of self care at all?
it really sucks feeling alone, if it helps any youve got us here on the forums sitting with you
hugs to you too
In response to: rough time
Bella1978Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander
You're such a sweetheart, thank you 😘
I've been doing some journalling which has brought these emotions to the surface.
If it wasn't Easter tomorrow I wouldn't give it a second thought. You're right - will be nice to spend the arvo with her. At least I can do that. I'm thinking of how we normally celebrate but I need to focus on what I can do to celebrate this year. It also upset me today seeing mum so depressed. But she has definitely improved since yesterday.
You're such a sweetheart, thank you 😘
I've been doing some journalling which has brought these emotions to the surface.
If it wasn't Easter tomorrow I wouldn't give it a second thought. You're right - will be nice to spend the arvo with her. At least I can do that. I'm thinking of how we normally celebrate but I need to focus on what I can do to celebrate this year. It also upset me today seeing mum so depressed. But she has definitely improved since yesterday.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
journalling can work both ways cant it @Bella1978 you are doing the best you can though and i can see how much you love and care for your mum. shes really lucky to have you. i ope she continues to pick up too. abit of her depression couls be abit the same as you in that shes in hospital for easter. i think itll be a pretty special day for you to go and spend the day with her. '
maybe you could take some colouring pencils and a colouring pages in and you could both do that together?
is there something easy going and nice for you to do tonight?
my time goes back hr at midnight too for daylight savings ending so i wont be so far ahead of westerners too. makes talking easier too.
In response to: Re: rough time
Bella1978Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander
you're right - journalling can work both ways, hey?
im very lucky to have my mum - @outlander she is the sweetest person you will ever meet - everyone who meets her loves her and thinks she is adorable. breaks my heart when i see her like this.
i also believe that your pop is very lucky to have you too luv.
you make a good point - mum's depression could be exacerbated knowing that she is in hospital.
actually, this will make you laugh - i packed her hospital bag for her and took it with me to the clinic - i put a few of her nighties in there and when we went through them she didnt want any of them bar one. today i get there and she tells me she needs nighties! she asked me to go back home, get the nighties and bring them back to her. it ended up being a longer afternoon than i expected. anyway, i came back home, got another heap of nighties (she has a lot of nighties! lol) and she still only wanted one of them aarrgghh hehe ... she then proceeds to tell me where the nighties that she does want are! OMG i had to laugh. she actually had a little giggle too which was nice to see.
also, bit down as i dont think i'll see my sister tomorrow for easter either. i spoke to her on the phone today. i love her @outlander - she is my sister but i just dont know how to help her. she also battles depression and i try to help her - we talk about things she can do to help herself and she agrees with me but the next time we chat she is still stuck in the same place. don't get me wrong, i understand depression but i find it so draining to try and help her, and frustrated as i do feel that i am going around in circles and i told her today ive only got enough energy for myself and mum atm. she doesn't share any of the supporting role with my mum.
In response to: Re: rough time
Bella1978Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander - sorry luv, i type a lot - i am now on my laptop so i can type more lol . much easier than on my phone!
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
You take after your mum then @Bella1978 ❤
Oh dear lol fuss pot. My nan use to be like that sje had lile 3 or 4 draws full of pjs as thats all she really wore- she was housebound most days. And sometimes it would take till the last draw to find the one she wanted to wear that day. At least shes happy with that now .
Hugs about your sister too. It can be really hard. An idea though for you that might help her and also allow you time with her is to go out and do something fun together. Living mh is too hars and we all need a circuit breaker. Going out for lunch or to the movies or something like that could be beneficial to you both. Its out and about and not talking about mh but rather just enjoying the time you spend together. A breather for you both.
Would that be an idea to try?
Oh dear lol fuss pot. My nan use to be like that sje had lile 3 or 4 draws full of pjs as thats all she really wore- she was housebound most days. And sometimes it would take till the last draw to find the one she wanted to wear that day. At least shes happy with that now .
Hugs about your sister too. It can be really hard. An idea though for you that might help her and also allow you time with her is to go out and do something fun together. Living mh is too hars and we all need a circuit breaker. Going out for lunch or to the movies or something like that could be beneficial to you both. Its out and about and not talking about mh but rather just enjoying the time you spend together. A breather for you both.
Would that be an idea to try?
In response to: Re: rough time
Bella1978Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander
aaw shucks, thanks luv - you aint too bad yourself hehe
aaw bless your nan - was she housebound due to mental or physical illness luv?
that is a good suggestion about my sister luv. you got me thinking actually, maybe i can go and visit her where she is living now. i haven't been to her place yet, could even just go and have a cuppa with her. she can be very mentally draining so i need to spend time with her in small doses but yeah, you got me thinking - thanks *mwah*
oh, and i decided to get my colouring in books out and have started doing that tonight (whilst chatting to you of course!) and listening to some relaxing music 🙂
what are you doing tomorrow for easter?
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
She had alot of physical illnesses. Mostly the end stage copd so constant home oxygen and not alot of energy and in her final 2 yrs cervical cancer @Bella1978 i use to help care for her too and tske her to appts etc when i could.
And afterschool plus weekends if take my studies there and help out.
She passed away nearly 3 yrs ago now.
That sounds like a great idea. Small doses are fine btw as long as the times enjoyable you might find you stay longer too.
Colouring in and music sounds good too.
No plans for tomorrow just spending time with siblings agai. I find them really draining too.
And afterschool plus weekends if take my studies there and help out.
She passed away nearly 3 yrs ago now.
That sounds like a great idea. Small doses are fine btw as long as the times enjoyable you might find you stay longer too.
Colouring in and music sounds good too.
No plans for tomorrow just spending time with siblings agai. I find them really draining too.
In response to: Re: rough time
Bella1978Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander
im so sorry to hear about your nan luv. you have taken on a lot of responsibility for your grandparents.
i love music and colouring in is relaxing 🙂 have started listening to hillsong united - they sing christian songs and are very calming.
are your siblings physically or mentally draining? one is 16 and the other is 6 yeah?
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Ive taken alot of responsibility everywhere unfortunately @Bella1978 way to many roles atm
More mentally draining. They are generally just sister squabbles but they are quite noisey as well. Just find it tiring. They have alot more energy then me thats for sure. I dont expect them to understand mh issues but sometimes i just cant manage much more than a movie day.
I often draw and listen to music. Its one of the things i like to do the most
More mentally draining. They are generally just sister squabbles but they are quite noisey as well. Just find it tiring. They have alot more energy then me thats for sure. I dont expect them to understand mh issues but sometimes i just cant manage much more than a movie day.
I often draw and listen to music. Its one of the things i like to do the most
