outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander just try and do some self care for the moment. Some helping people are so not helpful.
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Im babysitting @Snowie ive not long got to their house. Ones doing homework and rhe other watching a movie so at least irs quiet.
I need to speak to mum which im dreading. I cant quite say what it is on here but its not to do with therapy. Its homelife yet again but cant say much else. Shes either going to yell at me or give me the silent treatment
I need to speak to mum which im dreading. I cant quite say what it is on here but its not to do with therapy. Its homelife yet again but cant say much else. Shes either going to yell at me or give me the silent treatment
In response to: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Thats hard @outlander but do understand. My mother makes things so much worse for me too.
Just try and get the words out as best as you can. Will be around hun 💖
Just try and get the words out as best as you can. Will be around hun 💖
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Thanks @Snowie she wont be home till tomorrow but need to talk to her in the arvo when shes around or the morning if shes up. Im not letting old habits restart up again not now. Ill be gentle but it needs to be done.
And the therapist not too sure what to thnk. We are skipping the easy stuff. Next session and from there on we are foccussing on the attack. Its my self awareness it makes me look like im fine. Im just going to go and do it. I dont need to trust or like her i just need to grt through it so i can start to live.
And the therapist not too sure what to thnk. We are skipping the easy stuff. Next session and from there on we are foccussing on the attack. Its my self awareness it makes me look like im fine. Im just going to go and do it. I dont need to trust or like her i just need to grt through it so i can start to live.
In response to: Re: rough time
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
I have some questions for you @outlander - hope they don't seem negative to you as they are not meant to be! Firstly - yioou mention that you have to have another argument with your mother - the way you phrase this is very negative and infact pre-empting something that hasn't happened yet. You are therefore going into a 'discussion' with your mother in a negative mindframe even before you see her - this says to me that your demeanour will mirror your emotive state and your mother will 'see' the negativity even before you say anything. This also suggest to me that you are going into this conversation expecting a 'fight' and you are not open to the conversation being civil. I know your history with your mother does suggest that this is usually the way these conversations go but if you go into it with that mindset then there is very little chance that the outcome will be civil - the other person in such discussions do feed off the energy we give off and do mirror things like speech (eg tone) and body language.
Secondly - what gives you the impression your psych thinks you are 'putting it on' - is it something they said or just your own thoughts and feelings leading you to this assumption?
In response to: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander you are in control of what happens in your psych sessions. If you feel like she is skipping over things then you have a right to say no i want to talk about.......
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
First part ill answer at this moment @Zoe7 then ill be back for the second part. And your posting is fine..
Yeh i realised that. Think my wording could be off. I hate conflicts with anyone. I am cranky and upset that something is happening despite so many convos. When i talk to her i dont go like a bull at a gate quite the opposite really. Ill just have to be more mindful and work out a way to be assertive and hopefully that helps. I want to hear her side too so i am open to discussing things just history suggests it wont happen.
Sometimes words come across here as different meanings... i not all that angry so maybe argument was a wrong word to use in this case Im more frustrated than anything. It feels like in one ear and out the other but its not only affecting me its affecting others too so really id like to give more of a reminder or bring up a discussion around it as maybe she just doesnt see it.
Yeh i realised that. Think my wording could be off. I hate conflicts with anyone. I am cranky and upset that something is happening despite so many convos. When i talk to her i dont go like a bull at a gate quite the opposite really. Ill just have to be more mindful and work out a way to be assertive and hopefully that helps. I want to hear her side too so i am open to discussing things just history suggests it wont happen.
Sometimes words come across here as different meanings... i not all that angry so maybe argument was a wrong word to use in this case Im more frustrated than anything. It feels like in one ear and out the other but its not only affecting me its affecting others too so really id like to give more of a reminder or bring up a discussion around it as maybe she just doesnt see it.
In response to: Re: rough time
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
To me when you wrote 'argument' @outlander that suggests that that is what you are subconsciously preparing yourself for - so that miondset is what you will go into the conversation with whether you want to or not. That is not an easy thing to change when your history with your mother has been mainly her not listening or your conversations actually ending in an unresolved argument 
This goes back to the Zoe Method and reframing the way you think and speak to the positive rather than the negative - ie. tomorrow I need to have an argument with my mother is negative, whereas - tomorrow I need to discuss some issues with my mother that are affecting me - is a positive way to reframe it!
In response to: rough time
BunniekinsSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@Snowie Hi Snowie you made me laugh about your comment about being a zombie. I am a zombie and what is worse my emotions are all over the place I laugh when I want to cry and vice versa or I cannot show or feel anything at all it is dreadful.
In response to: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@Bunniekins i think the pdoc just keeps upping my meds until all emotions are gone 😕
