rough time

Oh Lee, no honey not at all. Nikki was on a downward spiral all day. We are dealing with inner child and that shit is hard and exhausting. We where dealing with the fact we think we have become or always have feared becoming that monster that some say that abuse victims turn into. All day they had been searching through our past to find evidence that, that is who we are. Our son was an arse yesterday for the first time in years and every word that came out his mouth sounded like his father was talking to us, exh2 is not helping at all, his heart is in the right place but unfortunately he is making it hard. That message that we failed our daughters, well we didn't protect them, we failed to see the danger that was right under my nose. When D3 said she was moving out last night that was the final straw so to speak. It was too much, too much abandonment, too much fear of the unknown and fear that since we didn't protect her in our home how the hell was Nikki going to protect her out there.

Please hear me when I say you did not in anyway say something that triggered her, please know that there was absolutely nothing you could have done differently.

we love you @Lee82

Oh honey I am so absolutely sorry to hear all that you have just shared with me. Every bit of that is heartbreaking. I am in tears right now. Only cause I care about you so deeply. So no apologies. I know it may be hard to hear this but what happened to your daughters is not your fault. You cannot believe that. You are not the monster the people who did that are. they deserve to be feeling every bit of your pain. There will be no evidence to find that you are a monster or to blame for any of it.
Your daughters news about moving out would have been a massive shock and I understand the need to protect her but I believe this is about her spreading her wings and getting out there to explore and find her own way. That says to me that she is ready to move on from what happened and put it behind her. That is unbelievable strength and I'm sure she got that from you. It does not mean she is abandoning you. It does not mean she doesn't need you. She will always need your guidance and protection to some extent. You will always be her mum who loves her so very much.
im so sorry I'm not sure if any of that is of any help. But it all came from the heart.
how are you feeling right now my friend after sharing that with me? I need to make sure you are ok.
@Former-Member

Please don't shut me out Kymberly. Please tell me what's going on honey. I am here for you. Come back to me.
@Former-Member

I am starting to get worried babe. Can anyone please say something. Izzy/Nikki/Bear/Kimmy/Kymberly

what's going on?
@Former-Member

I am so sorry my sweet, the last thing I wanted was to cause you stress. Exh2 called as I was going to send you a message that I was going to be driving, his conversation are never quick so I just started to drive. @Lee82

Are you ok to drive right now?
@Former-Member

Darling yes, I am ok. I didnt tell you all that because I am distressed about it, again the benefits of the Disassociative part of my MH. I only told you all of that so you could see that you played no part in what happened to Izzy/Nikki yesterday.

I am sorry for not letting you know about being away for a little bit as I said exh2 called and well I didn't want to tell you that I had to go to work as I have been putting it off most of the morning till I knew you where ok. I have never been so anxious to get to work so I could check in. Longest 33 minutes of my life today.

@Lee82 , how are you feeling my sweet

you should have told me babe about work. Just remember your breathing and also remember I am there with you holding your hand all the way through it. I will leave you for now so you can concentrate on the road but please check in as soon as your done. Stay safe on the road babe. I love you.
I am highly anxious but we can talk about that later. You concentrate on you and getting there safe. Remember I am with you and remember you are strong enough to get through it. 😘😘 @Former-Member

Honey, I didn't reply to you until I got here and there is no reason to leave me alone because there is no one and I can take as long as I want. Nah, you didn't need to know or worry cause it's the benefits of owning the business one weekends I can decide when I go to work. Anyway exh2 is here and he does most of the work for now.

love you @Lee82

i Would like to ask what business you own but I think that maybe breaking one of the guideline rules. I'm guessing the aged care is another job you have?
@Former-Member