rough time

What's happening for you my friend. 💜Niki @Lee82

Can I ask you a question @Lee82 💖Nikki

Sorry it's taking me a while to answer. my hands are shaking. I am going to be completely honest with you. I have the S thought in my head but I am ok. I am here with you. I need you to stay with me for a while. Just until that thought goes away. I still can't breathe but I am trying to concentrate on my breathing. The flashbacks come and go. I think I have stopped the panic attack but I'm not sure. I just feel so tired Nikki. Physically emotionally cognitively tired.
@Former-Member

You cn ask me anything? @Former-Member

Darling I am not going anywhere. Izzy didn't plan on leaving you tonight either. She had two black coffees and we don't drink coffee! She was making sure you where the one to fall asleep. I am telling you this because we all believe in complete honesty and not to cause you any more distress but Izzy's has an anxiety attack and from what I feel it's because of her overwhelming sense a failure to keep you safe tonight. I know Izzy is going be be hurt on herself whenever she feels strong enough to come back and I know how sorry she will be that she wasn't strong enough for you babe.

But I am here now and will be for as long as you want me to be. Please know that I love you and just want to help anyway I can. @Lee82

I was going to ask if you remember what you are for me but I think I might have reminded you in my first reply. @Lee82 💖Nikki

I don't know what to say to you that will help you not S tonight. But know that I think think you are such a Survivor, someone who has immense strength , who with all that they have been through still has such a beautiful soul and a huge capacity to love. @Lee82

Oh no please no I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't control it. I didn't mean to cause Izzy pain. Are you OK? Please keep her safe. @Former-Member

Nikki...are you ok?
@Former-Member

Ok Lee please take a breath for me, just take a long deep breath.

unlike you she has a built in protector, even though I still get emotional she is protected always. She has found herself is a very different spot with you. She has always been a softy and easily upset by other's emotions but whatever connection that you two have has wanting to protect you like you wouldn't believe. She feels so deeply connected to you, that she could sense how bad you where getting before you even said the words, she doesn't know how to process this prefound sense of friendship and love she has for you. Failing someone she cares that deeply for in not an option and she believes she did tonight. I am not sure what the lesson is in that for her but she will work it out.

I want to keep you both safe @Lee82 💖Nikki