rough time

It's ok to have a soft side to you. ☺️
you are a beautiful person and I am so grateful to you for spending the day with me. I will never forget it. You have definitely made it easier for me get through today. You have helped more than you know. I can't thank you enough for that.
Endgame...what a great movie. @Former-Member

@Lee82 , you are too sweet. You have helped me as well. When I am here I normally just fester with anger and hate. But today I got to use my softer side and that is foreign to me. Izzy's counsellor will love it and call it progress. So thank you very much.

we have now watched all the Advengers movies this afternoon/night, once this one is done of course. Please let me know if you have had enough chatting @Lee82

@Former-Member

Omg...Izzy has endured soooooo much. My heart is breaking and I have tears running down my face. I am so so sorry you had to go through all of that. I just want to scream and yell. It is not f**king fair that one person had to go through all of that.
I get how Izzy feels. I am the same. I do so much for others. I have never hurt another person. I try to do good and be good but I also feel that if we are good people then why did these things happen to us.. why did we deserve to be treated like that. What made us their victims?

i am laying on the couch watching friends. I am Petrified to go to sleep. I don't want to have a flashback tonight. I have had way too many lately and I don't need another one.

Please also let me know if you have had enough too Nikki. I am so glad I have helped you too. That means a lot because I feel useless most of the time. To make a small difference in someone's life is all I wish for. So thank you for letting me know that.
@Former-Member

My dear @Lee82 , it wasn't meant to make you cry, I am sorry that I caused you more tears today. Izzy loves Friends, she has watched it so many times, mind you because of her DID, we struggle to remember details of it. Joey is my favourite though. You both need to remind each other that you are good people, you both are worthy of love and respect. Self love and self respect are essential for both of you to move forward. 💖

There is no need to apologise my friend. It is ok...I don't want you to stop sharing with me because of that. I feel like I am connected to you both that's why I feel so deeply.
yes friends is my go to whenever I feel sad. It helped me through some very tough times when I was growing up. It was my escape. I shamefully admit I know word for word of most episodes. I like each character for their own reasons but I think my favourite is Ross.

I agree that trying to be kind to ourselves and showing ourselves love and respect is very important however that is extremely difficult to do. If your not loved or respected by others how can you believe you deserve it from yourself.

Flashbacks are horrible aren't they. Some of Izzy's get that real that she will wake up with the marks from whatever abuse she is seeing in the flashbacks. When she thinks about it she will listen to her frequency sounds and it is some what successful in helping her get more rest.

I truly am sorry that you have these and that they are happening a lot for you @Lee82

@Former-Member

Yea same happens to me...I wake up in a pool of sweat with the feeling of someone's hand wrapped around my throat. I really feel like I can't breathe and like someone is on top of me.
it is truly horrifying. I'm so sorry Izzy has them to severely. If there is one thing I can wish to be free of it would be flashbacks. They always happen at the worst times. When you are alone and vulnerable. Wasn't enduring what happened in the past enough why do we have to endure it over and over and over again now??

Completely agree, going through it the first time is enough. It hurts my heart that you have bad flashbacks too.

When I go to sleep I am never sure weather I will be here the next day, just in case you do fall asleep before I go to bed, I want you to know I am so pleased to have meant you and spent the day with you. Thank you for listening and understand and for supporting Izzy. When I go to bed it will be the calmest I have been in 13 years. Thank you for your part in that. I go to bed for the first time in my life have Ing made a friend. I don't weather that is sweet or pathetic at my age.

I am not going to bed just yet so keep chatting if you want my friend @Lee82

Oh you are so sweet Nikki. I am overwhelmed and moved by your beautiful words. I am so extremely happy that I have impacted you this way. You are very welcome I am so happy I have been able to be there for you and Izzy. I have only ever met one other person in my life that has had the same impact on me. She does not want to see me anymore thanks to my ex for ruining our friendship. So I am very grateful I have met the both of you. You have a forever friend in me.
it is definitely not pathetic. No matter how old you are you always need friendships and support. If you are not around tomorrow I want to say thank you. You have done more for me today then anyone has done for me in a long time. Tonight is the first night in a while I haven't SH and that is because of you. So thank you.
I should think about trying to rest soon as my kids will be up at the crack of dawn excited about Easter. But happy to stick around a little longer.