rough time

That's not good. Wish you a restful day or as restful as it can be with kiddies. I am angry, I am always angry but today it is super charged. I have found stashes of things that are not safe her to have. I have disposed of them already. Just finished searching the house and car for any other sh*t. @Lee82 @Thank you for supporting Izzy

I am so glad you have gotten rid of that stuff. Thank you for keeping her safe..

You are very welcome. Izzy is a wonderful person and I consider her my friend. We are all in this together. (You, Izzy and I) I am so glad I have met you Nikki. @Former-Member

You are too nice @Lee82, I am not one usually to be nice and sweet. I generally don't communicate with anyone other than ex husband no2 (exh2) and her children. Her family are all arseholes who have abused her kindness for years. Her so called friends are shallow, back stabbing nasty pieces of work so I feel no need to engage with any of them while I am here. I guess this covid19 thing does have its benefits.

Hope your morning has been ok and that you are also doing as well as you can be. Nikki

Well I feel very privileged that you are speaking with me Nikki. It's so hard to find people you can trust in this world and that are genuine. I understand that because I have no one in my life I can trust or lean on.
Just know that I will always be here for both of you. @Former-Member

Makes me angry to hear that her family have not been good to her. They are suppose to be the people you can rely on and trust the most.

I am doing as well as can be at the moment. I am feeling very frustrated and anxious. I have so much to do but zero motivation. I have to put a desk together for my sons remote learning that starts next week. It is stressing me out. It has sat in my lounge for 2 weeks and I keep looking at it and doing not much else. 😞

@Lee82 , completely understand the no motivation thing. It's hard for us to do much but get up most days. I would find putting together a desk far to intimidating.

Unfortunately Izzy learnt by the time she was five that her bio mother didn't want her. Her dad did his best, stepmother hated her as well. At this stage she had an older sister and a younger brother, who both mothers absolutely dotted over. She has suffered emotionally since before we can remember, stories of how she was treat from bio have been told to her many times. The sexual abuse started at 5 and continued on and off till 25. The mothers did not see what was happening or didn't care, either way Izzy found herself at the mercy of some family but mainly friends. What she left out of last nights ramblings was unfortunately exh2 has also sexually abused her. He was blackout drunk at the time, he has no memory of it. The next morning when I would not let him touch us, he didn't think twice about it as we normally distance physically when processing. About 3/4 days after Izzy finally told him what was wrong and he was devastated, he stopped drinking for about 8 months and wouldn't touch us unless we asked. It has never happened again though. This is one we have completely forgiven because this man is not like anyone else we have ever known. But unfortunately with the flashbacks in comparing both of them we are now judging him for other things he has done that are very similar to that of which exh1 put us through.

I have never said so much in my life. Sorry if it's too much @Lee82

Please dont apologise Nikki. I am here to listen and hopefully be of some support.

She has been through way too much and I am heart broken for both of you.
You both are very strong people to have gotten through all that you have and still be here as functioning adults. I commend you both. To forgive something like that is an amazing feat and must have been difficult to do.
My ex did the same thing to me a couple years ago however I never told him about it or anyone for that matter I just buried it and tried to move forward. Now I am suffering for it.
flashbacks are a difficult thing to control and affect us so much. I guess the only thing I can say is that maybe positive thinking and positive affirmations after a flashback may help to make the effects of a flashback less intense. I haven't been able to master this myself but trying to conquer this is aleast something. It means we won't give up and we are worthy of happiness and some sort of peace in our lives.
I wish I could take away all the pain you both are experiencing and I wish I had the tools to help you both more than I have.
All I can say is that I am not going anywhere and will be here to listen and help you both put in place all the tools that may help get through the tough time's and also to celebrate the wins and good moments. @Former-Member

How is the desk coming along @Lee82

Thankyou for your support

hello and hugs @Former-Member , @Lee82 , @Lotusgirl

hello @outlander xoxo

Sorry just had a little melt down....pretty overwhelming stuff @Former-Member

The desk isn't coming along. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to call upon to help me so have to tackle it myself. I put 2 pieces together and then flipped out. It's just not a good weekend for me at the best of time's

Hi @Shaz51 how are you and Mr shaz doing?