outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
thanks @Shaz51 @Owlunar ❤
In response to: Re: rough time
ethSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Oh dear @outlander thank goodness you have an accurate diagnosis at last. I had the same thing happen when I was about 17 so have an idea of what you've been going through. Hopefully the relief will be swift. Take care girl xx
In response to: Re: rough time
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander
That can be very painful.
Glad you have someone who explains well.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Thanks @Appleblossom @eth 💜
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
I really feel like a burden and like im failing at everything in life. why cant I just be a normal person 😞
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
Hey @outlander ... guess what? Your notification came through immediately. Only one I've had all day long.
Whatever makes you think you are failing at everything sweetie? And as for "why cant I just be a normal person"? You ARE a normal person Outlander. A whole stack of normal people just happen to also have MIs. It does not make us abnormal.
So what is it thats bothering you particularly this afternoon ... has something happened? And just to emphasise the obvious ... you are not a burden here, and nor are you a burden to your family. Unfortunately for you, the shoe is on the other foot there ... you have been unfairly burdened with family commitments.
Anyway ... I am here to listen if it will help.
Sherry 💕
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
my notifications are coming through this arvo so far too @Former-Member fingers crossed it stays that way....
Its so hard. My SH and SI is so high and im tired with my emotions are just a mess. its not making me a very good person towards anyone else. My finances are going straight down the drain, pay goes in and it goes straight back out. sometimes I have a few free $ but usually it doesn't last and something else comes up that needs to be paid.
I haven't had one of my pills for 2 weeks and pops gone a day without his. its so embarrassing. I cant borrow any more money. I started to look for yet another job but I just cant do it between the horses and clients, pop, kids, appointments and whatever else gets thrown my way.
I have no friends, and I cant make them and when I do it never lasts long. I started making friends with one girl at the horses whose about my age but anytime someone else is around im ignored and the only time I really get spoken to is when she or any other client of mine needs their horses done. its so lonely to be at home knowing I wont get any msgs unless someone wants something or I go to the paddock or even the work I have every now and then to be ignored or by myself even when I try to make a conversation. its not making it easy with my social anxieties, self esteem and even communication skills. i hate that i never seem to learn.
my health both mentally and physically and going down the plug hole. I don't want to seek any more help. its just another burden to the public health system and again I cant afford private health insurance.
my supports are basically gone anyway, the dont know how to help me anymore or there answers are well then give up being a carer then and turn the situation around to me.
its my fault anyway. it dates back to my trauma, if i hadve done more or just something rather then nothing then maybe i could handle life more then i do now.
my physical health is just taking a toll everywhere i go. im still in such pain and another symptoms popping up again now to do with womens health. the stupid nerve issues aren't getting better, its hard for me to do anything with it and the surgeon says 'theres nothing that can be done' isn't helpful.
my whole stomach aches and its more then just from the rupture, i think my suspected ulcer i had is back from all those strong anti-inflamatories i had been taking and still have to take to manage part of the pain and the meds i haven't had for 2 weeks generally help with that. right now its hard to even stand up due to pain from everything happening.
Its so hard. My SH and SI is so high and im tired with my emotions are just a mess. its not making me a very good person towards anyone else. My finances are going straight down the drain, pay goes in and it goes straight back out. sometimes I have a few free $ but usually it doesn't last and something else comes up that needs to be paid.
I haven't had one of my pills for 2 weeks and pops gone a day without his. its so embarrassing. I cant borrow any more money. I started to look for yet another job but I just cant do it between the horses and clients, pop, kids, appointments and whatever else gets thrown my way.
I have no friends, and I cant make them and when I do it never lasts long. I started making friends with one girl at the horses whose about my age but anytime someone else is around im ignored and the only time I really get spoken to is when she or any other client of mine needs their horses done. its so lonely to be at home knowing I wont get any msgs unless someone wants something or I go to the paddock or even the work I have every now and then to be ignored or by myself even when I try to make a conversation. its not making it easy with my social anxieties, self esteem and even communication skills. i hate that i never seem to learn.
my health both mentally and physically and going down the plug hole. I don't want to seek any more help. its just another burden to the public health system and again I cant afford private health insurance.
my supports are basically gone anyway, the dont know how to help me anymore or there answers are well then give up being a carer then and turn the situation around to me.
its my fault anyway. it dates back to my trauma, if i hadve done more or just something rather then nothing then maybe i could handle life more then i do now.
my physical health is just taking a toll everywhere i go. im still in such pain and another symptoms popping up again now to do with womens health. the stupid nerve issues aren't getting better, its hard for me to do anything with it and the surgeon says 'theres nothing that can be done' isn't helpful.
my whole stomach aches and its more then just from the rupture, i think my suspected ulcer i had is back from all those strong anti-inflamatories i had been taking and still have to take to manage part of the pain and the meds i haven't had for 2 weeks generally help with that. right now its hard to even stand up due to pain from everything happening.
In response to: Re: rough time
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Hey @outlander
I hope the forumites count as friends. I think many here would say they are. I know it's not real life but I guess it's something better than nothing hey.
I dunno what to say or any advice. I'm crap at that.
All I can say is that I hear you my friend
I hope the forumites count as friends. I think many here would say they are. I know it's not real life but I guess it's something better than nothing hey.
I dunno what to say or any advice. I'm crap at that.
All I can say is that I hear you my friend
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Thanks @MDT
yes I have wonderful friends here.
yes I have wonderful friends here.
In response to: Re: rough time
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander There’s so much in your post, so much suffering, so much hurt. The thing that jumped out at me in particular, was “ it’s all my fault, If I had done something, anything”.
If you could have @outlander you would have, we all would have. That’s why it’s called trauma, you couldn’t do anything, we couldn’t do anything. I know it’s words rushing around meaning nothing, but hopefully some day those thoughts will shift, for the better, again, for all of us.
I wish things were different in your life, I wish your had your life, your young life. But you don’t.
All the pain you are experiencing isn’t helping, and neither is the system.
For what it’s worth @outlander , you are a treasure to us here, if only you could see you through our eyes, but you can’t. I get that.
Sending 💜💜💜💜🌹🌹🌹🌹🌻🌻🌻
