outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@Sans911 💜
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
hi @Owlunar sorry I missed your post yesterday
things are pretty tough here and cant really see it changing anytime soon so am trying to learn to cope with it the best I can. I haven had the op yet, not till November which cant come soon enough pain wise but I wish it would be abit further away due to finances.
looking for another pain specialist sounds like a good idea, pain really does exacerbate our mh. I know my pain does but my pain isn't caused by mh either (well sometimes it is like upset stomach headache or those sorts of things but not the more chronic issues) I am glad that your gp is behind you in this. I know getting the right support can be really hard.
things are pretty tough here and cant really see it changing anytime soon so am trying to learn to cope with it the best I can. I haven had the op yet, not till November which cant come soon enough pain wise but I wish it would be abit further away due to finances.
looking for another pain specialist sounds like a good idea, pain really does exacerbate our mh. I know my pain does but my pain isn't caused by mh either (well sometimes it is like upset stomach headache or those sorts of things but not the more chronic issues) I am glad that your gp is behind you in this. I know getting the right support can be really hard.
In response to: rough time
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Hi @Former-Member @MDT
Thanks Sherry - you said that so well - I couldn't have done it better - and yes - she is right Hamsolo - pain - physical or mental - is extemely personal and affects everyone differently - the death of my son was by far the worst pain I have ever had and at the time I had injured my shoulder in a car accident - that bothers me to this day but in spite of the disability concerned I have always considered it the lesser pain -
So I do understand what you mean - physical pain can sometimes be treated
But not always - only managed - I have had chronic spinal pain for well over 20 years - quite a problem - Sherry has chronic pain too as do other members - we understand
It's okay though - I do appreciate your comments - I went off line yesterday about lunchtime I think and didn't get back - I just came in now - the inflamation in my spine that aggravated me so much yesterday and caused me to drop things seems to have abated - let's hope so - I actually dropped a bowl of porridge on the floor - it spread everywhere - from the floor to the cupboard doors and my shoes and trousers - and just because of a spasm in my spine that made it a nightmare to clean up - sheesh - I was so cross with myself
Thanks again Sherry - I really appreciate what you said
Dec
In response to: Re: rough time
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Hi @outlander
I can imagine your life is far from easy - rough time is a good title for your thread - in the years now that I have known you - you have had to battle with many things - this would be tiring to begin with and on-going - exhausting - and Mental Health issues and physical health issues to interact with each other even if they have a cause
Right now I am really thinking hard about how my son's death which happened a long time before I injured my spine could be making the pain worse - this has befuddled me - what a strange idea - this I could imagine if it had happened and I already had spinal pain - egad!!
Like you I have evidence that the physical pain is real and DDD - degenerative disc disease - is getting worse - and other disorders of the spine increasing too - I am really wondering that a specialist in the area can't even comment on that but people are entitled to their own thoughts and opinions - as am I - as are you.
I have always been amazed and admired you for your maturity - you are wise beyond your years - forced into it I know - but still - you are - and I know life really has given you a shove more than necessary from time to time. How old are you now? You must be around 23 I think younger than my grand-daughter - she is very mature too - and she has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
I wish you the best for your operation - being in the public system is a hard - hurry-up-and-wait place to enjoy your physical discomfort when you need the operation - you need to have it fixed but finances are still a problem -
Are you still doing the horse-wrangling as well as caring for your Pop? Two jobs keeps you busier than most - and other caring - no one can say with any truth that you are taking life easy
WTG Outlander
Dec
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
hi @Owlunar
unfortunalty a lot of peoples physical pain is dismissed once they know you have mh issues. its easier to say your mh is causing the pain rather then investigating. I understand they cant run tests etc all the time but if its something that is causing enough pain or illness that they are mentioning quite often then there seems to be good enough reason to take a look into it further. I can often tell when its my mh causing my issues ie (theres a different sort of stomach ache when im anxious compared to when its my ulcer like sysmptoms/GORD)
I do hope with the new evidence and support from your gp the new pain specialist will be of more help and have a better understanding of your condition .
I am 22 for a few more months yet @Owlunar I turn 23 about 2 weeks before my op. In some ways yes I definently feel 'old' but in some ways I still feel inexperienced and young.
I am fortunately getting the op done for free however its up to me when im discharged (which is silly that its the same day) that's where the problem lies. if they would agree to keep me overnight I would gladly go home the following day hower im staying nearby in a hotel (which is costly me over 1000 to stay there for 3 nights) ive booked 2 separate rooms which does make it more expensive but as you and many others know I don't get along that well with family and they often make things more uncomfortable for me but at the same time I don't want to go on my own so this is a good compromise. close but not to close sort of thing.
I still care for horses and I also do another job plus caring so I work 3 jobs atm. 2 that are more part time and caring as my main one. just trying to make ends meet and also get out of the house and away from pop (who we call grumpy old man atm) I cant talk to others much about pop because they find it funny. I don't find it funny at all.
unfortunalty a lot of peoples physical pain is dismissed once they know you have mh issues. its easier to say your mh is causing the pain rather then investigating. I understand they cant run tests etc all the time but if its something that is causing enough pain or illness that they are mentioning quite often then there seems to be good enough reason to take a look into it further. I can often tell when its my mh causing my issues ie (theres a different sort of stomach ache when im anxious compared to when its my ulcer like sysmptoms/GORD)
I do hope with the new evidence and support from your gp the new pain specialist will be of more help and have a better understanding of your condition .
I am 22 for a few more months yet @Owlunar I turn 23 about 2 weeks before my op. In some ways yes I definently feel 'old' but in some ways I still feel inexperienced and young.
I am fortunately getting the op done for free however its up to me when im discharged (which is silly that its the same day) that's where the problem lies. if they would agree to keep me overnight I would gladly go home the following day hower im staying nearby in a hotel (which is costly me over 1000 to stay there for 3 nights) ive booked 2 separate rooms which does make it more expensive but as you and many others know I don't get along that well with family and they often make things more uncomfortable for me but at the same time I don't want to go on my own so this is a good compromise. close but not to close sort of thing.
I still care for horses and I also do another job plus caring so I work 3 jobs atm. 2 that are more part time and caring as my main one. just trying to make ends meet and also get out of the house and away from pop (who we call grumpy old man atm) I cant talk to others much about pop because they find it funny. I don't find it funny at all.
In response to: Re: rough time
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Hi again @outlander
Yes - I do know how quickly people can write off painful physical conditions to mental health problems when there is the slightest idea this could be the case - it took me so long to get a surgeon prepared to do a hysterectomy and I had endometriosis - he actually apologized to me after the operation - had he realised it was that bad he would have done it earlier - but then - in the private system - he kept me in hospital for a fortnight - I really needed the rest at the time
And when I have stress etc - I tend to get migraine - and interestingly - not often now which indicates to me that I have my life under better control than I once did - I still tend to get a migraine around my son's special dates - and they will be bad and for some reason my back pain is less then - as if I can't tolerate both at once or something mysterious - when the dates and the stress pass the back pain comes back -
Yes - I do remember how tough things are with your family - I really identify with you because of how tough things were with mine - I don't have anything to do with my siblings and my parents have passed now -
That's a good idea to stay in a hotel - with an extra room for your family is it? Or do you have someone else to care for you after the operation? You would think they could give you overnight in hospital when you would be normally going home to care for your Pop - the public system does leave a lot to be desired -
And yes - your family laughing about your Pop and thinking it's funny - that is totally disrespectful to your grandfather too after all - and it is certainly not humerous in any way.
I loved my father a lot and never saw anything at all laughable about aging - I had and still have a lot of respect for a man I had admired all my life - laughing at aging people is cruel - and not only that - it doesn't help you at all -
What would the story be if you were not doing this - sure you are paid and you should be - and you deserve respect too -
I hear you - I get it - I understand - I think you are doing the far greater thing and I wish you the best - I really do
Dec
In response to: Re: rough time
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@Former-Member @Owlunar
I didn't mean to step over a line here. I was simply expressing a thought and didn't mean to offend.
While I understand this may have been unwise I feel like you've made your points rather clearly. I don't feel comfortable here anymore.
I won't be contributing here now.
I didn't mean to step over a line here. I was simply expressing a thought and didn't mean to offend.
While I understand this may have been unwise I feel like you've made your points rather clearly. I don't feel comfortable here anymore.
I won't be contributing here now.
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
Please let me reassure you @MDT , that no offence was taken by me from your comments. I would hope we can discuss differences of opinion here without any rancour, as I thought we were doing. Everyone's life experience is different, and I was merely expressing my own personal experience with pain .. both physical and mental. Just the same as you were doing. I'm really sorry you now feel uncomfortable here, and I regret that anything I have said may have contributed towards that. My sincere apologies.
Sherry
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
Hello all – @MDT @Owlunar @Former-Member
I am not sure what exchanges have occurred here but it seems like there might be a little tension here. I could be wrong – so apologies if this is so. Without the added information that we get from tone of voice and all the other non-verbals, online text-based communication can be tricky at times! Can be good to give others the benefit of the doubt – or clarify by asking questions. We have a guide about self-care and managing social relations on the forums which may be of interest if you haven't looked at it already: https://saneforums.org/t5/Forums-news-and-feedback/Forum-Guides/m-p/105963#M1039
Regards
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
@Former-Member ... I was not aware of any tension here, merely an exchange of views. And I am sorry that @MDT has taken the exchanges as a personal afront. I'm sure @Former-Member , if you read the recent exchanges, you will see that no lines have been crossed here. Although I have to agree that sometimes the written word can come across differently than intended.
