rough time

It really, really sucks @outlander.

I was speaking with my psych this morning about the idea of a break which, as you know, isn't something that's possible in the way I could really use right now. We worked out that an at home break is probably the next best thing. It means for me I need to take as many moments I can to time out. It's letting go of things I don't really need to do (I laughed at that idea but he has a point), finding soothing, restful, recharging things. Things that feel comforting, distracting, grounding, recharging... etc. I have a list of stuff.

Is that something that you could think of doing too or something you'd be interested in having a go at?

im sorry, i know everyone has their own worries too. i don't want to add to it more

it might help @CheerBear a lot of the problem is this house. i cant get away from it. when im home and even though im not doing something for pop its not restful or recharging. it feels so smothering even being around pop or the kids or people here. even when im alone i feel smothered by people offline. maybe its just the tensions or something i don't really know....

I missed the post above @outlander. What kinds of things are making you not want to see the psychiatrist (if you'd like to share)?

You dont actually have to go anywhere or do anything but it sounds like your doctor strongly recommends you do. I don't remember what kind of relationship you have with your doctor, but my doctor is someone I trust has my best interests at heart and someone who can help me make decisions when my tricky head is playing up.

Sorry you have your sisters again. It doesn't sound like that's what you need right now.

I get it with not feeling like theres rest time at home. Even when my kids are at school, there's always something I "should" be doing here or someone else I "should" be thinking about. You have it hard with your pop around and with the tension it's no wonder you're feeling smothered by it all.

There is no need for sorry and you're not adding worry.

That feeling I feel a lot @outlander. I feel it most when I start to get overwhelmed and run down and when there is stress and pressure. It feels suffocating sometimes. On my traffic lights it would be an orange heading to red and a sign I need to do things like those time-out things.

It is something you experience a bit too?

@CheerBear i just don't want to go. i don't like the area the clinic is in and its so hard to get to. the parking is shocking and often have to park so far away sometimes i think itd be easier to walk instead :face_with_rolling_eyes: my gp wants to add medications and i don't want to again ive tried a heap of combinations all with similar side effects (or worse). i cant be honest with them either because a lot of their responses are 'go to hospital' or 'use your coping strategies' and im kind of sick of it.

my current gp doesn't even see me anymore unless i really have to. she usually just sees me when ive seen my nurse who isn't that helpful atm either and generally shoves me out the door before ive even sat down. gp does the same thing, tells me how good im doing and tells me to keep seeing the psych and to see the psychiatrist when i can.

there are lots of 'shoulds' and a lot of my shoulds still don't really get done either. seem to be failing at that too.


the suffocating i feel a lot. more often then not. i don't feel like i can be anywhere. home, mums house, any of my work places, even at the horses, everything feels suffocating and so different to before.

the more pressure and suffocated i feel the worse my physical pain is too. it makes the wisdom teeth pain flare up so much and then it makes me grumpy and even more overwhelmed and then it spirals very quickly too

a blanket fort and camping out for a bit sounds great to me @CheerBear

i guess i will see what tomorrow brings and this arvo having to run after everyone else again. i think i remember reading something about shoulds and how tricky they are in your posts somewhere too.

thanks for the listening eyes