outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
oops previous msg as well i forgot to tag you
im wondering if its better to go home so im in the comfort of my own house and i wont have to worry about the overwhelming ness of family in the worst days either as i get pretty snappy when im in pain or tired too.
im wondering if its better to go home so im in the comfort of my own house and i wont have to worry about the overwhelming ness of family in the worst days either as i get pretty snappy when im in pain or tired too.
In response to: Re: rough time
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
I'm a bit, not sure what the right word is here, when it comes to this stuff @outlander. I've discharged myself early from hospital, said no to pre admission appointments, caught public transport home from day surgery and from being an inpatient (more than once), driven myself to ED and been admitted from there, refused to be admitted when I've needed, left hospital hours after having a baby etc. mostly because there really hasn't been any other choice. I'm perhaps not the best person to speak with here because, while I get how hard it is and how stressful and so s%$& to not be able to take time out without a massive headache and not to have much/any support, I have found a way to get up and going asap even when it is hasnt been the right thing for me to be doing and my recovery has been longer and harder because of it. What I would do (and have done) is probably not a great example or great advice!
Your last message reads like you know deep inside the answer to whether you would be better going home. I could be wrong here though.
Your last message reads like you know deep inside the answer to whether you would be better going home. I could be wrong here though.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
i had to giggle @CheerBear you are a very determined and independent person!
the trouble is whether i stayed there or come home i know id be ok sort of thing as well. if this was happening locally i wouldnt be questioning it, it would be go to pre admission, and then go home after the op but its all happening 2 hrs away from home (and even longer by public transport) thats the part thats getting me more
the trouble is whether i stayed there or come home i know id be ok sort of thing as well. if this was happening locally i wouldnt be questioning it, it would be go to pre admission, and then go home after the op but its all happening 2 hrs away from home (and even longer by public transport) thats the part thats getting me more
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
the other thing is my mum is really the only responisble person unless i hired someone so i would be around them all anyway again whether im home or not.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@Former-Member@Sans911@Snowie@Faith-and-Hope@Appleblossom what are you thoughts if your ok sharing them to please?
In response to: Re: rough time
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
I wonder whether the hospital could help with transport home @outlander? You could ask what they suggest maybe an see from there. There should also be a social worker there or someone to run this over with. You could also ask about pre admission via phone too to save that day before.
Lots of ❤ It's tough. There will be someone out there who can help. You may need to be a bit noisy to find it which is a pain, but it will be there.
Lots of ❤ It's tough. There will be someone out there who can help. You may need to be a bit noisy to find it which is a pain, but it will be there.
In response to: Re: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
Lil Sis @outlander
I've done similar things to @CheerBear, and I'm a nurse, so sometimes I know the risks and understand the consequences. I've had major dental surgery though, and I actually was a 7hour flight from home! That's a long story. But I was verycclose to the hospital. On the preadmission day there's no need to stay, so you can look at it two ways. You go back home with family, and get up early the next day, or you take them with you that day and stay overnight. Myself, I'd be more inclined to stay overnight. The last thing you want is issues with traffic or public transport. And then you're stressing over that as well. And two hours to go home and then have to go back to hospital because of a complication could be potentially dangerous so I'd err on the side of caution and stay one day after. If all's good by the end of the day after surgery, you should be OK to go home.
Just my thoughts
I've done similar things to @CheerBear, and I'm a nurse, so sometimes I know the risks and understand the consequences. I've had major dental surgery though, and I actually was a 7hour flight from home! That's a long story. But I was verycclose to the hospital. On the preadmission day there's no need to stay, so you can look at it two ways. You go back home with family, and get up early the next day, or you take them with you that day and stay overnight. Myself, I'd be more inclined to stay overnight. The last thing you want is issues with traffic or public transport. And then you're stressing over that as well. And two hours to go home and then have to go back to hospital because of a complication could be potentially dangerous so I'd err on the side of caution and stay one day after. If all's good by the end of the day after surgery, you should be OK to go home.
Just my thoughts
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
Oh goodness me @outlander, thats a tough ask.
If it were me? I think you know my issues around staying in cities or even large towns. For me that is an over riding consideration, and I would be staying in the city for the shortest time possible. Also of consideration is the cost of staying there, which would not be minor, especially if your mum and bf and your siblings are all staying. It sounds as though there is adequate care in your local town if it is required. And if you do go home, only to find you need to go back ... that can still be done.
Is any of this helpful?
Sherry 😄🌹🐹
If it were me? I think you know my issues around staying in cities or even large towns. For me that is an over riding consideration, and I would be staying in the city for the shortest time possible. Also of consideration is the cost of staying there, which would not be minor, especially if your mum and bf and your siblings are all staying. It sounds as though there is adequate care in your local town if it is required. And if you do go home, only to find you need to go back ... that can still be done.
Is any of this helpful?
Sherry 😄🌹🐹
In response to: Re: rough time
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Sorry that you are struggling with this so much @outlander
I have had to go simply on my own steam in a lot of situations with children reliant on me when it would have been loverly to have a support person but they were non existent, nor funds to pay one.
I am concerned that you feel you need to pay for someone for your sisters. That is your mothers responsibility right and not really yours to worry about at all. I do not get why you are so concerned. Its nice to be a concerned big sis, but that is one boundary that exists by law and moral right. And yes your mother might be a responsible type of person, but it is HER (and the father's) responsibility. You are doing your bit, letting her know with plenty of time for HER to make the arrangements with her work or hiring ... Or the sisters might be able to manage for a few hours til mum gets home or learn to get to school etc. It could be a growing experience for all.
YOU are really only responsible for your self and communicating properly with adults. Make the arrnagement YOU feel most comfortable with re extra day and type of travel. Checking in with pop for his needs, which might be a meal cooked and frozen in fridge.
Take Care of YOU Bella. Thats plenty enough. Its when boundaries get complicated that misunderstandings can happen.
In response to: Re: rough time
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
I think I agree with @Sans911 @about an overnight stay @outlander, tine sure things settle properly, then go home ..... but you will do yourself a favour if you ore-prepare and feeeze meals for yourself, make sure you have fresh linen, extra food and necessities in the house, tissues and things within easy reach, etc, so you can rest up properly once home with very little to do for your self-care.
