rough time

Thank you for trusting me lil Sis. I have tears for you atm as I'm so frustrated about your situation. You're one of the nicest people I know, and it frustrates me how badly you are treated by your family and professionals. You must feel like you can never do anything right with anyone!

Professionals judging you is the last thing you need. You are right, they need to be non judgemental supportive and encouraging. All they are doing is adding fuel to the negative fire inside. No wonder you're at the end of your tether. You must be feeling like nobody in your real world cares much about you at all.

I agree though with you, in that there's no point doing trauma work right now, as you're in the thick of trauma every day. You overwhelmed by it constantly. You need to learn coping skills first. Do you feel like you could tell her that?

I can understand why you feel like you are failing your pop, but I don't see that happening. I see someone incredibly young taking on probably more responsibility that she can manage. And no one is stepping in to help or support you. You mother should be going to the GP appointment with you. The things that need discussion should not be bourne by one person alone. That's just harsh and unfair.

Your pop's behaviour toward you is appalling & not warranted regardless of his age.

Gosh lil Sis, you have your hands so full. If I could I would be there to help you.

I'm sorry all this is driving you to SH and suicidal thoughts. I really don't think you are responsible for anything that is happening, but more you are an unfortunate pawn caught up in people's games of irresponsibility and laziness. You are treated more as a servant and less as family, and that is incredibly cruel. You will be free of this shitty life one day, so I hope you might be able to stick around for that. Because I believe there's another life for you that is far, far better.

Hugs and hugs my angel 💕💕@outlander

It does frustrate me because when they dont listen it means i have to repeat myself again and again but i dont do tat i tend to just shut down instead.

Yes you are right, nothing is ever enough. There is always something more i should be doing whether that is perceived or real i dont know now. I feel so lost in this life and yes very unwanted and those sorts of feeling too.

I made an appointment online for an appoitment to talk to his gp. Im not sure if i will be alone or not on the day i guess ill just have to wait and see what happens...

Because ive only got the 10 sessions we spent most of the first one going through the time i hadnt seen her and disscussed moving forward. She wants to try both exposure and dbt together so each session talk abit about it but also learning different coping methods ( and then things to work on between sessions) which i think will be ok but i still worry if itll be to much but i also dont want to waste the sessions either. I find i get bored and more aggitated talking about just coping methods as i spent most of last yr doing and learning those.

My life is very much hanging by a thread atm and it also feels like it is on hold too. Mm this parts abit hard to explain tonight so i might have to leave it till i can do that.

Things are just so painful mentally and physically because my teeth have been causing quite abit of pain (and those associated effects like headaches etc ) and even with pain relief it barely takes the edge off so im abit cranky that way too.


@Sans911

Thank you @Former-Member your supportive presence is enough.
Goodnight lovley ❤❤

Goodnight @Former-Member ❤️💙💜

I think you're quite entitled to feel cranky with everything going on @outlander. And I'm not surprised one bit.

I think perhaps what I meant by coping strategies you might need to learn is talking to your pysch about how your time between appointments has been, how have you managed, with her being supportive and asking you how you coped and is there anything she can help in suggesting something else that's useful for you. Or simply accepting that this week you sh and is there a better way than that.

My therapist & I work like this atm. For the last 6 months all we talked about was present day stresses and problems. She's worked on helping me to eventually stabilise and decrease SH/SI tendencies. She hasn't even delved into prior traumas unless I've mentioned it. Even then, she just acknowledges and moves on. She's only recently started talking about the need to delve deeper into the past but only as far as I'm comfortable. So that's what we do.

I can understand that you feel like you're barely hanging on. You have so much to deal with, which probably feels like it never ends. And your life is on hold until your current responsibilities are done. Then you can live for you. I hope you can hold on. I really do. Hugs lil Sis @outlander

Oh yes, i get what you meant now @Sans911 your psych sounds good.
I guess mines feeling abit under the pump too since we only have those 10 sessions and then none till next yr too. Frustrating and it makes it hard to know what to work on too.

It is very tiring living this way and while its allowing others to succeed it is squashing me. Maybe one day things will be abit better but i cant see that changing for a while yet. Glimmers of hope will have to do for now.

Thank you for listening and for just being you
💜 💙 💖 👭

I'm always OK to be here with you @outlander. Glimmers of hope is OK for now. I believe things will be OK eventually.

Unfortunately I'm going to have to log out as I can barely keep my eyes open.

Please keep trying to take care of yourself. You're just as important & needed as anyone else.

Hug, hugs and more hugs

Goodnight sis sleep well 💜 💜
@Sans911

@Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member and all
wondering how your days have been?