rough time

@Sans911, @outlander I’m just going to respond to @outlander big response earlier. It may take a while.

I can understand you not wanting to try anyone else just now @outlander. It can be so defeating if it doesn’t work out.

My thoughts about using headspace for support is that maybe you can use your call when you are not in crisis to work through something that is upsetting you or building. About 18 months ish ago I began to realise if I got the right support pre crisis I could maybe prevent the big meltdowns. It’s actually taken me all this time to understand it better and try to use helplines in this way. It only works for me for the things that build up over time until I implode. When I go from 0 - 100 in a few minutes it’s a useless strategy. These days when I go from 0 - 100 quickly it’s about strapping on my safety gear and holding on for the ride. Sometimes that is still using unhealthy coping strategies but ones that if I crash I am not like to sustain any internal injuries. I’m getting better at distracting and accepting it’s messy but it will pass.

So in my build ups I might contact a helpline (there’s been a few with varying degrees of success) and ask them to help me work out the thing that’s building. I’ll tell them that I’m trying to prevent distress as well by talking about the problem. An example from this week was that I contacted a helpline over something really minor but to me I knew it could keep building until I crashed with it. It had to do with my appointment with my psych. I had gone in with a specific thing that I wanted to address that I knew she would need to be able to help me work out what was at the core of a crisis I’d recently experienced. Somehow I told her and then the conversation changed and I got emotional about something different and the emphasis was put on my raw emotion. It meant that the thing I really needed support with got missed. I started to feel hopeless that I would never be able to overcome things because I get too emotional at anything and then my sessions get distracted and I don’t work on the really important things. It’s been a very big pattern in therapy for me. Soooo I rang a helpline to talk about how I could manage therapy better. I needed validation that I wasn’t unhelpable (new word) too. I got to talk it out and the validation I needed and now have strategies to work on in my next therapy session with my psych. It was during the helpline call that I got to see the pattern causing so much distress for me too. I think it helped me to let it go for now and get on with things instead of letting it build. This is the kind of thing that I thought might be helpful for you. It might be after some boundaries have been broken and it’s starting to build or anything else really. For me it has been helpful just to be able to get support to solve a small piece of the puzzle. Sometimes it doesn’t work too. I might get a response of 'I can’t help you with that you’ll need to talk to your psych about it'. That response still hurts and frustrates me but I’m getting better at letting it go v e r y s l o w l y.

My question was where do you think you should pack up and leave from. Was that a home thing or forum thing?

Just quietly i totally suck at boundaries. Like really suck at them but as you say it’s a work in progress.

Ill do the friends bit after. Hoping this clarifies things for you. It’s just the stuff that works for me though. It might or might not work for you.

I’d love a hot chocolate @outlander but I don’t think my stomach would take it yet. It’s getting better though. 😊

You got me in the mood for a milo!

Hey @Zaphod i hope you enjoyed your milo. Looks like everyone dropped out as often happens at this time of night. I hope you have a good one.

How long until you get your teeth extracted @outlander

I am guessing that’s the pain you’re talking about.

I just went through some unbearable side affects from a med I started yesterday. The side affects really hit me this evening. It was awful.

Wint be taking them again. They are supposed to help anxiety. Made it worse plus nausea etc etc. @outlander

Was a bit scary. Thought I’d end up in emergency. Not a place I want to sit at for endless hours, waiting to see a doctor. @outlander