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Something’s not right

Depression creeping up again

Depression creeping up again

God I hate this. Wasn't the best yesterday but today is bad. Had to talk to my worker about the ex crazy psychiatrist and what he tried to do. And the day the police came and wanted to take me to hospital. Trying not to 'feel' it all again. They are just stories. I don't have to relive the emotions.
But I'm sad. I'm restless. I'm jittery. I'm off. Out of sorts.
Sliding down towards my depression.
Feel like crying but can't.
Just told my son he needs to pack a bag to stay at my mums house tonight. He doesn't look impressed. But I don't have the energy to explain it to him again today.
Such a hard day.

27 replies

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In response to: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

Hi @utopia

I hear you - you feel as if you are going downhill again and this isn't good

You are right - they are just stories and you don't have to re-live the emotions but they do come to visit and stay awhile don't they

It's sad about your son though and if things are really dark it's best if he is at your mother's -

I think this has something to do with holidays and 2 long weekends in a row - some of us are isolated and though this is usually okay with me I am feeling it by now

Thinking of you Utupia

Dec

In response to: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

@utopia Oh utopia I am so sorry that you are feeling so poorly. You were very kind to me when I was feeling off the rails. Let me return the favour and help you whichever way suits you best. I am here for you utopia.xx

In response to: Re: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

I'm sorry to hear you're not doing so well @utopia. Do you think talking about such a traumatic experience has put you on even shakier ground?

In response to: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

Maybe @Queenie. I don't know. Just too much of everything. Need to scream and cry and rant and cry. But can't while my son is still here

In response to: Re: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

@utopia

Feeling for you. I have struggled with the Depression demon and the ambivalence about sharing home space. I am not sure how appropriate this is, but is it possible to flag to your son that you are unwell and need space without having him go to your mother?

In response to: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

@utopia, so sorry to hear that. You're always so supportive of me, and I would love to return the favour. Unfortunately I dont know how. I have an idea of how you're feeling though because I recognise all those things you mentioned - sad, restless, jittery, out of sorts. Still feeling that way myself actually.

How old is your son? I gather he is school aged, in which case he will probably like the chance to spend some time with his grandmother over the school holidays. Hopefully some time alone can allow you to blow off a bit of steam and allow things to settle again.

My thoughts are with you.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

@utopia sorry that you are feeling so poorly.my awesome friend , sending you tender hugs

sitting with you , here for you if you want to talk xx

In response to: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

I'm angry that I'm not better. I'm angry that it's been almost 3 & 1/2 years since my workplace incident. I'm angry that I've had a shite psychiatrist who went off his nut and tried to have me committed to the public locked psych ward. I'm angry he gave me medications that made me sick & that he didn't care. I'm angry he didn't fight Workcover harder for me.
I'm angry I have to fight Workcover. I'm angry that I'm getting sick again.
I know I won't be who I was before this all started - but I thought I would be a whole person. I don't feel human.
I'm just surviving each day. Same day after day. Is it any wonder that I'm starting to crack.
I'm tired of not being me anymore. I'm tired of struggling through each day without any changes. I'm tired of fighting.
It would be so easy to stop fighting and just sink into the abyss.

In response to: Re: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

@utopia

In response to: Depression creeping up again

Re: Depression creeping up again

I don't feel like me. I don't know what me is anymore.
I just know that I hate feeling like this.
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