THE dark side

We are going to get in touch with you @Bubbles3

Thinking of you lots @Bubbles3

So i ring the cop station coz they said i could pick my phone up today BUT NO I HAVE TO WAIT TILL MONDAY NOW what a bunckof wankers. I fking hate the pigs.

Now im angry again

I ccant wait for my meds to kick in. Pto calm me down.

I cant even write properly on this ipad,

This fking sucks,.

Some one please help me stay calm

Does anybody what pain im in.

I doubt it

Nobody understand what im going though

They can try to understand

But it just doesn't have work

I get no help.

Why does mark havve to come out again

Why

And its not just mark

Lea and kelly are here to

Fighting with each other

I want tbem to stop

But of course tbey wont

They dont listen to me. None of tbem do.

In this life
I once felt hope.
I sometimes still believe in this,
but each moment a little less.
I feel abandoned in my despair,
and it's difficult to repair.
I get broken each day some more,
keeping these emotions in my core.
I find myself hiding behind this smile,
the one that shows my denial.
I have thoughts of lonesomeness,
which no person should possess.
I camouflage this so well;
it feels like I'm in hell.
I hurt on the inside,
trying to push these demons aside.
I want something better,
to not feel all this terror.
I know it can be manageable;
there are things that make life tolerable.
I just cannot find the thrill,
like when I was a child with a one dollar bill.
I remember when dreams were imaginable,
now it feels like I'm undoubtedly fallible.
I wish to find myself soon.
This feels as if I'm trapped in a cocoon.
I would like to hatch,
not be so detached.
I need to end this coldness,
before death leaves me soulless.

My smile hides my tears.
My laugh hides my screams.
It's been this way for years.
Things aren't as they seem.

I always seem so happy.
With not a care in the world.
But you should know sadly,
Many things go untold.

Nobody really knows me.
They only know my cover.
But I wish I could let it free.
Let them know what's under.

But instead I practice
My smiles in the mirror.
Then the next thing I do is
Make my fake laugh clearer.

What is wrong? You need help?
Is all they will ask.
So I have decided
To live behind a mask.

I walk on a path deep in a forest and the noise of loneliness fills my head.
I think of all my friends and family that are long since dead.

I listen to the wind blow through the trees, on my face I can feel the warm summer breeze.
My breath deepens and my heart slows as I fall to my knees.

I hear their voices loud, I hear their voices clear.
I can see their faces through every tear.

Be silent with me.

I realize I am alone and there is no one with me.
Is this I wonder, how my whole life will be?

I have people I call friends; but how many will be there till the end?
When death comes knocking at my door; will there be someone there I can call my friend?

I can feel the blood flowing through my veins.
I can hear a loud thunder in my head accompanying sharp pains.

Be silent with me.

Where am I? There is nothing here I recognize.
Trees begin to blend with bushes, I can not trust my eyes.

I am feeling a sense of loneliness like never before.
I wish I had someone to talk to, as I clutch the forest floor.

I find myself wanting to tell someone of all the things I feel.
How the only thing I ever wanted was a friend that was real.

I never thought it was too much to ask for, someone to treat me the way I treat them.
So many people have a warped understanding of the meaning of friend.

I can hear the sweat pour from every pore of my being.
I can hear everything, even the most distant birds singing.

Be silent with me.

I feel my thoughts slow as if I were on the edge of sleep.
I struggle to make sense of these feelings that are running so deep.

I roll onto my back and look up at the sky.
Today I think, is a beautiful day to die.

A random thought I can not explain.
Is it I wonder, because I feel no more pain?

I no longer hear the faint sound of my heart beat.
Then I hear the sound of my fathers voice saying, come, be silent with me!

Wow, you've been busy @Bubbles3

Your poetry is beautiful. So very menaingful and insightful. Thanks for sharing 🙂