😩 Hating myself/life.

We're suppose to go to my sister's today. It's a two hour trip. To be honest, I haven't slept much, so I wasn't looking forward to it. My mum who is in her 80s, has developed anxiety and depression. I have had to cancel appointments many times because she is 'too sick to go' which she suddenly recovers from an hour or so after cancelling. We have become pr house trapped between her anxieties and mine. I go to the shops, doctors and occasionally talk her into going to a beach or park.