Daily check in

Hi @Former-Member,

I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to such a lot of what you said. I do have a formal diagnosis of autism. For me, getting that diagnosis was super helpful because all of my muddle was being shoved under my psychiatric label (of BPD) even though some of it really didn't fit there. Since getting the ASD diagnosis, I've found that people are more open to the idea that I truly don't understand some social stuff and that I'm not just trying to be difficult and argumentative.

Having said all of that, I also very much agree with what @Lemonjuice said about how trauma-related issues can mimic ASD. The reason I know I am autistic is because there were clear signs of it from the time I was very young, prior to any of the icky trauma stuff happening.

I get the sense that you are super struggling at the moment. I'm heading out of Forum Land for the night soon but I know you'll be well-supported by others here. I think perhaps @Former-Member is moderating tonight.

Hi there @Former-Member, one of the other Moderators @Former-Member sent you an email a little while ago to check in with you. I hope it has arrived in your Inbox. I will be around the Forums tonight, so please don't hesitate to keep reaching out. I hope you're okay, take care.

Hi @Former-Member,

I paid for an assessment at an autism specialist clinic in Sydney. You asked if they had any ideas about how to adapt treatment for BPD. Nope. I think one of the massive problems is that few psychologists have an interest in and/or knowledge about ASD, and for those that do, ASD is their primary interest such that they don't have much interest in and/or knowledge about mental health conditions. This is a big part of my muddle. It's like...the psychologist at the ASD specialist clinic saw all my issues through the lens of ASD, and every other MH professional I've ever engaged with has seen all my issues through the lens of BPD. I am super hopeful that the psychologist I've just started seeing (seen her once) will be able to fit it all together into a coherent picture.

If you have a trauma history dating all the way back to babyhood, I think that would make it tricky to differentiate between ASD and trauma-related stuff. I don't know the exact nature of your early trauma, but I'm wondering if you have ever heard of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?

What do you feel that getting an ASD diagnosis would add to the picture of working through your muddle? The reason I forked out hundreds of dollars for the assessment was because I've had two major workplace incidents - one of which was definitely due to sensory overload rather than trauma-related stuff. I also have very significant executive functioning issues (e.g. planning, multi-tasking), which I didn't believe fitted under a BPD diagnosis. My main purpose in getting the assessment was that I felt that figuring out that piece of the puzzle would help me try to work out where I fit employment-wise.

I have also found it helpful in that people are now a bit more patient in re-wording things / explaining things when I don't understand, rather than just accusing me of being difficult and argumentative.

Hi @Former-Member,

I'm sorry to hear you are in hospital. I super hope you find it helpful.

Carrying on our conversation from the other day...

I can't see that it would be helpful to go digging back into your very early childhood (even if you could) simply to figure out if your struggles are due to RAD or ASD. I'm wondering if it would be more helpful to focus on the struggles themselves rather than on what label to give them. For example, I super struggle with social communication. Getting the ASD diagnosis was helpful for both me and those few people I communicate with.

Therapist take one (who dumped me after 5 months because she decided to have a baby) wrote a really good handover report for me. We collaborated on it and I think it explains my ASD/BPD muddle very nicely. I am just looking through it to see if there is anything in it that may be helpful to you...

• N says that she thinks the ASD makes the "volume" of my emotion dysregulation louder than it would otherwise be and that it presents in different ways to how it does in neurotypical people with BPD.
• The ASD means that I don't just have a fear of abandonment (a BPD issue), but I actually really do get abandoned/rejected/dumped.
• My literal take on language leads to miscommunications in therapy.
• I super need structure and don't cope well when rules/boundaries are changed.

Remember, this is a report written specifically for me, so even if you do have ASD, this stuff may be totally irrelvant to you.

I hope you are feeling well supported in hospital @Former-Member.