Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Daily check in

Unknown userMember30 Dec 2017, 10:50 am AEDT

Daily check in

Hello All

I’m struggling, big ways. I soon have an admission, but until then I don’t know where else to turn. Reaching out to family, friends and my care team is difficult over the holiday season, Sane helpline not available, so I turn to you and count the days to admission and try to keep myself safe. I’ve promised to stay safe. I’ve promised not to self-harm. But it is hard. I try distract myself by planning a tattoo instead of another evidence of self-harm. I go to sleep when the feeling to stop it all is overwhelming. And I try to be cheerful for the people around me and support them to understand why I will start the new year with an admission. Life is difficult at the moment. I am willingly going to hospital so I don’t have to fight on my own, I want other people to help me stay safe. I am tired of fighting my own thoughts and longings.

42 replies

11 - 20 of 42

1 2 3...5

In response to: Daily check in

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor30 Dec 2017, 8:03 pm AEDT

Re: Daily check in

@Former-Member Hi, I'd love to live in the country but I know it can be very isolating too. I have always had that hobby farm dream but I'm getting a little too old for that now and am willing to settle down to a two bedroom flat with a large verandah, with shops down the street cause I'm lazy that way. Despite the issues you're living in, do you like it out there? I lost my job years ago because of depression and panic attacks. So I know how that can feel. I couldn't get myself together and the more I tried, the worse it got. And people at work wanted certainties, which is hard when you don't know how you're going to be. In a way though, it was a blessing cause it made me to stop and really face and deal with my panic attacks. I don't have them anymore. Oh yes, tv addict here.

In response to: Re: Daily check in

ChrisSenior Contributor30 Dec 2017, 8:27 pm AEDT

Re: Daily check in

Well my cat has claimed his dads chair! Every so often he lifts his head to see where we are. Not spoilt much!

Do you have a pet Kirin? I get a great deal of comfort from him when i am distressed. He really seems to pick up on it. Hes not a fuss pot normally. But he always puts himself where the action is, watching us come and go. Hes a ragdoll. Ginger ears and cream body, with a big fluffy tail. A big fluff ball really. Forget cat toys. Just give him rolled up pipe cleaners made into a ball his favourite toy. He carries it around. He also likes to dive out of his tunnel when you walk passed and grab you round the ankles, then he takes off waiting for you to play tips with him. Hes quite a character. Its all quite here tv off. I can hear the chacarders outside. Birds have been quite tonight. Normally the cockatoos sqable in a big tree two doors up then the kookaburras join in.

My plan for tomorow is to get to the local indoor pool and start swimming again. I find the water very soothing. But i lack motivation to get there. Maybe i will get a yearly pass it will inspire me! I only wanted to buy ear plugs today, but couldn't find them in any big department store. Came out with clothes instead.!

In response to: Re: Daily check in

Unknown userMember31 Dec 2017, 8:28 am AEDT

Re: Daily check in

Good morning Lemonjuice and Chris,

Lemonjuice, I'm glad you don't have panic attacks anymore. I get flashbacks and have been told they are similar to panic attacks, all this feeling stuff is fairly difficult for me to grasp. I never knew I was anxious or depressed or stressed, I just thought that's what everybody felt like. When I started taking meds I started to understand that I can feel differently.

Chris, I do have a pet bird. He's really messy and I've just done all his washing, toys, beds, cages... I hope you will make it to the pool today. I want to go for a walk, but there is so much to clean and organise here and I don't want to start the new year with a messy house. It probably won't take long, as I am extremly organised and pretty simplistic, but just a few things can seem overwhelming.

In response to: Daily check in

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor31 Dec 2017, 11:57 am AEDT

Re: Daily check in

@Former-Member Hi, meds do help take the edge off those feelings and flashbacks. Unfortunately, they don't fix the problem...I wish they did, I'd be taking bottle loads...lol. I hope you have good psychotherapists where you are. Let me know if you need help locating services in your area. Trauma, dissociation, anxiety are my study areas...I might be able to hunt down services for you. I also am a junky on youtube videos on the issue. I have a couple which might be of use to you.

In response to: Re: Daily check in

ChrisSenior Contributor31 Dec 2017, 1:11 pm AEDT

Re: Daily check in

Good afternoon lemonjuice and Kirin

Well its another humid day here today. I hate the weather. Give me winter any day.

Doubt i will get to the pool today. I seem to be on a go slow.

Ill be around tonight if you want to talk.

In response to: Daily check in

Unknown userMember31 Dec 2017, 2:18 pm AEDT

Re: Daily check in

Hi Lemonjuice

What made you study psychology? Are you studying first time or are you changing careers? I’d love to go back to Uni and start over, but I guess it’s too late in life. I could but I have too much responsibility. What are the videos about? I’ve got a good treating team, they are all on a well deserved holiday 😞 I struggle to get through the week when they’re about, so it’s just harder when I’m alone. It’s difficult to explain, I just switch and nothing makes sense and I get stuck.

Hello Chris,

I understand the problems with the weather, it seems to effect me a lot nowadays. I used to love summer 😞 well I used to love a lot of things but everything just seems like me making myself do them and I get told it gets better when you just go out and do things, but then I get triggered and am a blubbering mess 😞 I don’t seem to be able to think straight then.

I’ll probably go and hide in bed now.

In response to: Daily check in

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor31 Dec 2017, 2:45 pm AEDT

Re: Daily check in

@Former-Member I am in my 50s so it's never too late. The make up of universitfies these days are increasingly older mature age students. There are a few in my classes which are in their 60s and 70s. Never say never.

As for me, I studied for a BA in sociology in the 90s and now I have come back to do a grad course so I can do a PhD. I've been told I would make for a good therapist but I don't think I have the energy to deal with people...I am burnt out from caring for people. Instead, at this age, I think I am going into research. I am interested in dissociation, it's effect on memory and attention. I am also interested in psychodynamic theories in transference and attachment disorders. Actually, I am interested in pretty much anything psychology. Not sure if you know of these areas of study, it doesn't matter if you don't, I'm just putting them out there incase you do.

I dissociate and have social anxieties, depression and self-harm behaviours but I managed to get good marks...I am doing it slowly and with help but I am succeeding. Please consider it. I don't know how deep your issues are, but it might be the thing that gives you a reason to heal...to look forward to. I'm more than happy to give you information if you want onvhow to get into the system.

As for the videos...I will later. I need to get to know your situation a bit better...some of the videos can be too triggery. Feel free to tell me anything you are comfortable with...I don't freak easy...lol.

In response to: Re: Daily check in

Unknown userMember01 Jan 2018, 5:10 am AEDT

Re: Daily check in

Happy New Year!

In response to: Daily check in

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor01 Jan 2018, 8:52 am AEDT

Re: Daily check in

@Former-Member @Chris Happy New Year! We did it...got through the holidays!

Kirin how you holding up?

In response to: Daily check in

Unknown userMember01 Jan 2018, 9:05 am AEDT

Re: Daily check in

Hi Lemonjuice

Hope you had a good start to the new year. I will answer more later, I feel way below average today, physically and mentally I follow my bodily cues :face_with_rolling_eyes:

But I’m glad 2017 is over!

11 - 20 of 42

1 2 3...5