I feel sad

I really understand that @Former-Member - as you say - your mother is dangerous and can hurt you yet you still want to see her - that's because she is your mother and having these confusing emotions is horrible but perfectly natural

My mother was pretty toxic and she was in aged care and snarled at me when I visited so I had to make a choice - there was no talking to her - in fact through my whole life she was really bitter and this hurts as you already know - so I had to make a choice and I had to tell her that I wouldn;t take that kind of behaviour and I wouldn't visit her if she talked to me that way - and I didn't - but I kept writing notes to her and she never answered

And so - I get it Jay - that is so hard for you

And the kids - that is rough too - how come you can only see them once a week - is this because they are in foster care?

But yes - about your mother being dangerous and hurting you - I can see now why you were so upset - that is a terribly hard burden for a young person to have to bear

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

I really understand - I have been involved with Family Services for different reasons and this can be a hard road for anyone and you are so young

And you are not a loser because of all of this - you are who you are with a lot of pain in your life - both of your parents giving you are hard time - wow - that is so bad

So - right - you are not a loser but you have lost a lot - and it sounds as if your mother has been cruel and hopefully she will change as she gets older - you can hope that

It's important to remember though - you can be the better person - and you are seeing your siblings for the short time available to you because of the system - I know you have a lot of them and I wonder if they are in the same facility - I know Family Group Homes have up to around 8 kids at a time - are your siblings is one or two family group homes or in some other arrangement

No wonder things were so hard for you about a week ago - you were upset - now I am starting to see why

But none of this is your fault - it sounds as if you are doing your very best

Dec

@Owlunarthey arent together, well some of them after but they are all split up, they live with foster carers, when i was in it i didn't live with any of my siblings because they said it was too hard to place me because of my age, nobody wants a 14 year old, so it was even harder to add a sibling into that, so they dont really live together

I get it @Former-Member

For reasons I don't want to share my son was in foster care for a while - he got too hard for the system - it's so long ago I forget but 14 - 15 I think - and the system has improved since then but it is still not good

It's really hard to think about - so many little children in care of all kinds and the families that care for my son for a while did their best - but sometimes the system just doesn't work very well for people

And with so many siblings it seems this is the case for you - and your siblings - and this is really sad for you

It seems wrong to me somehow - but I don't know how to fix it - but we need a licence to drive a car - we need to register pets - a certificate of marriage - we need to carry ID - when I was young we even needed a licence to have a radio - and oh yes - I used to have an inland fishing licence once I turned 18

But anyone can have kids whenever they have them - and this can be so hard on the kids as you know

You are not alone Jay - you have a community here already - I hope you stay - and then - there are your siblings and it seems you are doing your best for them - and then - there are countless people who are in the same boat - and what can anyone do about that?

It's not your fault though - far from it - and it must be terribly unsettling for you - and really have a bit of insight into that

Dec