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image can't get rid of

BlueBaySenior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 2:51 pm AEDT

image can't get rid of

Hi everyone

I had a terrible nightmare while in hospital last night. I was admitted as I had a migraine with severe high blood pressure so doctor's decided to keep me in and monitor me.

But I had a terrible nightmare of my brother. He was one of the three guys that had sexually abused me as a child. He was the one who had abused me more than once and at different places.

The look on his face in this nightmare, his hair, the colour of his hair, the look of his face, the stare he was giving me; i can't get it out of my head. The image is so clear.

I have been crying and been very anxious today, not thinking straight. i want this image to disappear forever but it's still here.

the only way i can get rid of it is to SH and end it all. I am very very negative today, playing different negative scenarios in my head of what i can do.

i want his face to go away

19 replies

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In response to: image can't get rid of

candycaneSenior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 3:20 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

Hi @BlueBay;

I read your post and noticed that you are feeling really down today. I will email you to check in now.

In response to: Re: image can't get rid of

BlueBaySenior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 6:47 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

Hi @candycane

I have received your email.

In response to: Re: image can't get rid of

BlueBaySenior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 6:48 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

how do i get rid of his face, his image

In response to: Re: image can't get rid of

AppleblossomSenior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 7:33 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

Hi @BlueBay

Sometimes when I am avoiding something it sticks even stronger in my mind. Can you try a kind of cleansing ritual through writing and/or drawing his picture and telling it cannot control you any longer.

Though sometimes when I have very vivid dreams it can be an good sign that I have worked something through in my mind.

Take care BB

In response to: image can't get rid of

Unknown userMember27 Dec 2017, 7:45 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

HI @BlueBay

I am so sorry that you have been going through this. I understand completly not being able to get the imagine of someones face out of my head and that SH is the only way to get rid of it. It is the same for me. I am not sure if you have tried these strategies, but this is what I do to help me. They don't always work, but they do sometimes.

I use a recording of progressive muscle relaxation - you can find them on youtube and the one I use goes for about an hour.

I use a coping box, with all different things that relate to my senses inside the box.

I use an app called smiling mind. Free to download and is useful. I also use an app called thisissand. It helps take my mind off things

I try and distract myself by watching my go to show. It is normally the Big Bang Theory which I am watching now!

As I said, these are just suggestions and what help me. However I know we are all different and you might have tried all of these before.

But please remember that you are not alone and there are people on her (including myself) that are here to support you. Please keep reaching out for help

In response to: Re: image can't get rid of

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 7:50 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

Hey BB - that super sucks @BlueBay Is it a continuous image or one that comes and goes with waves of anxiety as well?

In response to: Re: image can't get rid of

BlueBaySenior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 8:07 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

Hi @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Zoe7

The vision is here all the time, it is right in front of me and I can't get rid of it. @Former-Member I am trhying to watch telly but it's not working. I am on here now but my mind is racing. I will try to go to bed soon and hopefully the image won't be there at bed time.

It is so hard, @Zoe7 it's a continuous image, it's making my anxiety a whole lot worse. I want to run again, SH is strong and being a little child again screaming crying punching go away is on again.

this super sucks so much right now

In response to: Re: image can't get rid of

Unknown userMember27 Dec 2017, 8:13 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

@BlueBayit is super hard and you are doing a great job of trying to control it and get rid of it. I know I will be on here late tonight if you cannot sleep so please keep reaching out for support. We are here for you

In response to: Re: image can't get rid of

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 8:14 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

yep @BlueBay know that feeling and it does super suck.

I find it harder closing my eyes as it is like I am transported back into the darkness also. It is understandable you want to run BB - that little girl inside now is screaming at the one back then to 'get away' but neither can Distractions that are very visual and quick are good here - something like takes a little effort to do but can be done quickly so you don't have much time to 'think' - I have an online chess game I sometimes use - I end up getting more frustrated with the game and the images are secondary.

In response to: Re: image can't get rid of

BlueBaySenior Contributor27 Dec 2017, 8:18 pm AEDT

Re: image can't get rid of

you're right @Zoe7 if i close my eyes the vision is 'more real' it's like he is here with me

he can't hurt me can he; he is not here anymore, he can't hurt me, no he can't

i need to go to bed, i am a mess

i don't know what i want tonight

@Former-Member thank you, if i can't sleep i may come back on later

oh i wish this horrible part of my life would STOP!!

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