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Bubbles3Senior Contributor
I was just wonder if there is anybody else who is suffering with mental illness but worried about the partners mental health state to.
He hubby has hit rock bottom because of me
I dont know how to make thing better for the both of us.
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
DeterminedSenior Contributor
Children starting to get ratty here, may have to head out with them shortly to give my darling a break so if I dont reply right away I will eventuality 😊
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
thats ok @Determined
illl write more while im waiting.
and by the way ........i went and gave my hubby a big cuddle . so thankyou
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
DeterminedSenior Contributor
Lovely to hear @Bubbles3
We are about to go out looking at christmas lights . Have been promising our boys since the start of December but had a lot on so kept putting it off. My brother took usnout in his boat earlier in the week to see some lights around some canals near where he lives. Lol we were a little out of place in our little tub amongst it all but it was nice.
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
@Determined
we also have children 8,7 and 5 years old. so things do get hard. also another big factor is having time to yourselves that put alot of pressure on our marriage. we have no time what so ever. my is a truck driver so he works 12 to14 and half hour days and he is in bed by 8/ 8.30 most night so we have no time at night. and he works 6 days a week sometimes 7 days . and also some nights he is away in his truck.
so we get no time together. the rest of the time is al about the kids. we try to shuv them off to a family member every now and then, like once in a blue moon but by then all we do is just sit and do nothing coz we are so worn out. we dont go out and do anything together or anything like that.
we have tight, borring life.
we also have money problems probably because of me. we are behind on all our bills even through hubby works his arse off. i try my best with the money. but i alway seem to f*ck it up and he get p*ssed off with me.
back to the the subject now
hubby doesnt like me going on this sight. i dont know why. maybe coz it has caused problems before, i dont know. but he doesnt like it.
i just tright to explain to him that i met you on here and the reason why and he still doesnt like it. so its just me trying to get help on here.
i do try my best with my hubby. i try to love him as much as i can . but our sex life is nothing. which i feel bad about it. i wish it was better but its not.
i was brought up in a very demestic viotent home and then at the age from 12 to 15 i was being sexually abused for a few years and then at the age of 19 my partener who i had been seeing for 3 years, i found him dead in his bed. so iv had a very trumatic life and i find it hard to love someone. dont get me wrong ,i love my hubby but i mean love in the other way.that why i have to put the brick wall up because i think im going to get hurt. and i cant stand to be hurt again. because it hurts so deeply that i cant deal with the pain and thats when i go of the rails.
i dont know if yourf wife have had same or not. but having BPD is very hard along with everything else.
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
@Determined
we also have children 8,7 and 5 years old. so things do get hard. also another big factor is having time to yourselves that put alot of pressure on our marriage. we have no time what so ever. my is a truck driver so he works 12 to14 and half hour days and he is in bed by 8/ 8.30 most night so we have no time at night. and he works 6 days a week sometimes 7 days . and also some nights he is away in his truck.
so we get no time together. the rest of the time is al about the kids. we try to shuv them off to a family member every now and then, like once in a blue moon but by then all we do is just sit and do nothing coz we are so worn out. we dont go out and do anything together or anything like that.
we have tight, borring life.
we also have money problems probably because of me. we are behind on all our bills even through hubby works his arse off. i try my best with the money. but i alway seem to f*ck it up and he get p*ssed off with me.
back to the the subject now
hubby doesnt like me going on this sight. i dont know why. maybe coz it has caused problems before, i dont know. but he doesnt like it.
i just tright to explain to him that i met you on here and the reason why and he still doesnt like it. so its just me trying to get help on here.
i do try my best with my hubby. i try to love him as much as i can . but our sex life is nothing. which i feel bad about it. i wish it was better but its not.
i was brought up in a very demestic viotent home and then at the age from 12 to 15 i was being sexually abused for a few years and then at the age of 19 my partener who i had been seeing for 3 years, i found him passed away in his bed. so iv had a very trumatic life and i find it hard to love someone. dont get me wrong ,i love my hubby but i mean love in the other way.that why i have to put the brick wall up because i think im going to get hurt. and i cant stand to be hurt again. because it hurts so deeply that i cant deal with the pain and thats when i go of the rails.
i dont know if yourf wife have had same or not. but having BPD is very hard along with everything else.
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
EmmetCasual Contributor
Hi @Bubbles3. Your situation sounds almost like a perfec match for mine..... except I am the carer...
I so want to help my partner but I struggle with knowing what to do at the right time. My frustraton in not knowing when to do what but i think the frustration shows and is interpreted as anger....yes, towards myself!
The sessions with the psychiatrist are a mystery except for the events after a session where I have to work out what happened to cause such mood swings.
My partner does not reveal too many cards and everything is very close to the chest which doesnt make it easy.
I guess everything I could write here would end with 'it doesnt make it easy' but thats just it, it's not easy for either of us and in saying that I have absolutely no intention of giving up on my partner getting better.
We have had a wonderful 20+ years together and i hope for a lot more, we just need to find the answer to something that happened just over a year ago which triggered all of this.
Anyhow, I will keep trolling the Forum looking for ideas to my specific issues
Now for you problem...have you ever invited you partner to attend a session? Perhaps he is affraid of not knowing how to react....Men hate to admit they dont know something.... 
Im an expert at that!
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
another thing @Determined
im a recovering acoholic. well i still slipp up like last night and tonight. and im over over medicating. just to run away from my problems. i have so much going on right now. on the 17th of jan i have to go to court at a fault of my own (sort off). now my mum has just told me that she isnt coming for xmas tomorrow. which has really p*ssed me off. i have so many problems to deal with ATM.
thats why my hubby is stressed to. because im stressed.
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
DeterminedSenior Contributor
Sorry to hear things are so tough for you at the moment @Bubbles3
Have finally finally finished for the night here and dropping off to sleep, I trust everything goes ok for you tomorrow, I have promised my boys my undivided attention tomorrow so aiming for a tech free day, I will try answer some more of your questions tomorrow night or Tuesday.
It is a big step reaching out the way you have and I am happy to help where I can and truat it works iut for you.
Trust you can enjoy some famklt time with hubby and children tomorrow. I am looking forward to a nice day after a couple of weeks of turmoil.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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