@heartathome Thanks that was really nice and so very true.
@Realness @ENKELI @MindfulMango @AuntGlow
When we keep looking at those who hurt us, the beam hurting us remains, for God's word tells to keep our Eyes on Him!
When we expect our good from those down here we end up disappointed!
i know i did, looking at people hurting me in my life, caused the hurt to be even far more, and me to become even more lost hurting my life. Yet going to Jesus with my hurting life brought me the love of our Heavenly Father where i had been hurt and brought relief and renewal - time and again.
Today Jesus showed me this as clear as crystal still trying to hold onto my Wife and family my fears losing them. Does that hurt when i heed those fears! Especially in my depressed state! Such fears offer no support, comfort nor solutions, apart of have my loved ones do what they do not. And will have me hurting forever their loss a fire.
The truth is they loved me for years, as i did them, such is not lost then, nor now, nor ever will be. So i'm not losing their love for me, they did, in His truth i still got them and they me. Such love lived is safe us and i do not need to fear losing.
This means for me to let His truth replace the places i fear the loss my loved ones living their lies, without the need to have them change, or be as i demand or want them to be. Such brings true comfort as well as peace.
i have an appointment with the psych in the city on the 26th, about my meds. i have requested a phone consultation for i'm too unwell to travel. So hopefully this will not change the date and i know on the 26th where this will lead to.
My Poem today
His Word Beneath My Lies
Before dawn I rose beneath a load
Too great for mortal flesh to bear,
Carrying hearts I could not know,
And wounds no one would share.
I carried wife and children too,
Their silence and their pain I get,
For daily yet again I tried to light
that flame long cold and dead.
Anguished I cried unto the Living Word,
"How long must this state remain?
Why do I suffer others' truths,
And wear their hidden chains?"
Then gently came a deeper light,
Not forcing, but truth revealing,
Showing me the burden's weight
Was never mine for bearing.
Truth knows the hearts of all mankind,
Truth sees what my eyes cannot,
Truth keeps the things entrusted Him,
Whether remembered or forgot.
The day itself had hardly changed,
The world outside remained the same,
Yet something shifted deep within,
And I was not the same who came.
For I no longer chased living proof
That those I loved loved me still,
Nor needed them to speak my worth,
Or must bend an ill begotten will.
The Word beneath my lies appeared,
The One I have sought for so long,
Not absent from the years of grief,
But present in His truth all along.
So I await no more empty handed,
Nor any longer driven by despair,
But watching The Truth reveal,
me finding Jesus ruling there.
The ghosts still stalk me at times,
Old shadows do linger yet,
But they no longer wear a crown,
nor rule me threat and debt.
For if God's Truth is truly true,
His Love lived remains the same,
And every lie that held me bound
Shall perish in His kindling flame.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUZhTMZF_1I&list=RDiUZhTMZF_1I&start_radio=1
