@ENKELI @Realness @heartathome @REDLINEZ750 @tyme @MissGremlin
TW: Sexual Abuse
i have had i difficult day today, not because of my own stuff, but the trauma revelations our former foster boy, who is now a 45 year old male. And he shared with me yesterday on the phome. Where he revealed multiple incidences of severe trauma events in his life, by men (and women) i know. The pain i heard in his voice him telling me the gruesome stories have had me mourning him all day already.
Let me try and explain. 32 years ago, before i broke down into a heap, we fostered a 13 year old boy for a few months, who had severe behavioral problems. At the time he was classified as A.D.H.D, i had been working with him as a Government contracted youth worker. Basically for i had years of experience working with troubled youth but no one could get anywhere with this young person.
Anyway disowned by his mother, and at the time kicked out by his father, he came into our home a mess. Nevertheless me and him quickly developed a good re-pore together. However sadly his behaviours proved to be very unpredictable, violent and mean. For, as we understand now, like me he suffers from different alters, but in the day he had no control over his bad alter at all. And so he would always end up attacking people who came too close to him. This meant that sadly he made sure he could not stay longer than a few months with us as a family.
However, the love bond we had developed together was strong. Also one night he did open up about (sexual) abuse going on in his life. However at the time he was very angry and abusive. And when he was like that he lied a lot about himself and others.
However his other alter made sure he cut us off after that, purposefully doing the wrong thing to us making sure he be found out. Yet paradoxically he stayed in contact with us over the years. For we had tried again taking care of him when he ended up homeless, a year or so later, just for a few weeks he lasted, for he deliberately tied to hurt us when i got close again without me realizing that is why he responded like that. So we had to tell him to leave once more. (After that he was in and out of jail for many years. i think he might have well spend more than 25 years in jail the last 32 years.)
Yet he understood (in the end - locked up) we really loved him, but that he had not given himself, or us a chance. Indeed the last few years his phone calls have become almost weekly. His dad, who did make up admittedly, after we took care of him, and had tried also very hard to love his son. Yet sadly he died youngish years ago. Everyone else who know him have disowned him. My wife and me are the only people left who know him, and know what he has been up to, but still love him.
At the moment he is on probation. Stuck in another State. He asked if he could come and stay in our house for a week next year. That is if he manages to get a week trial out of Sate from his probation next year for good behaviour. i asked my wife later, and she has no problem with it. Even if she would need to leave for that week so we could really get in it she has no problem with it. My health however is much harder to predict, so we will have to see where i'm at when the time comes, and if he makes it that far in the first place.
He is going through a sex chance at the moment. Yet to us he still identifies as the boy we knew all these years ago. And i'm still allowed to call him by his former name. The man is in it deep, and i have challenged him to have a beer with me, on my 68 birthday here [location edited by moderator] He has taken me on!😁 He has only just been released again for breaching probation. The system hates him. For he still has real issues with his social behaviors. Let's hope and pray he gets himself through this time and not land behind bars again.
The hurt he shared with me yesterday has been rather overpowering. It is also difficult to accept more could have been done if we had understood the situation better. The man literately lost his life to the criminal system having been badly offended against, yet no one has done anything. He reckons he shared his story for years to the jail psychs, but had not got any help whatsoever, no justice to him that's for sure. He did not even understand the concept of alters torn up as he has been by them. Although nowadays he is beginning to understand more and more what i have been saying to him about all that.
Such makes my blood boil. Struggling with anger at the system not helping him, and my powerlessness to help him more with all this, than praying and phone calls.
Please pray i can digest the pain he shared yesterday, and i can let go of the horribleness of it all. (Especially knowing one of the predators may well have many more victims on his hit list the position he was in at the time. (Our foster son claims he was sacked soon after he (and others) made allegations but has never been charged.))
Blessings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On-whMoulOM&list=RDOn-whMoulOM&start_radio=1
