@ENKELI Sorry about the misunderstanding sis. i thought you told me you had bad experiences with people pushing biblical views on you, that is why i said what i did about you being forced to read God's Word a certain way.
However the main purpose of what i shared with you was to describe an ugly force within our hearts demanding to read the bible, pray or speak, which has no love for me or other, and is an 'Anti Christ' force within my heart, as far as i'm concerned, not Christ within.
Please understand that for me, being stuck with radically different alters of being, in this alter, in which i was fanatically religious, and would always hear a lot of inner force for me to read my bible and say or do certain things that felt crappy.
This meant for me, as it seems like to be with you to some degree, that when other people shared their (faith) stories, i would feel bad about my faith, for i was not the same as them, or that these people were, subtly between the lines, telling me i was not good enough, how they said what they wrote to me. And so much else not nice or good.
In my religious alter i always demanded myself (to be perfect in my other alters), that i would have set reading and praying times every day, go to Church at least once a week without thinking i knew better than the pastors, i must tell fellow Christians how to be good Christians when i felt they were not obeying God's law well enough. And a million other must and do not dos this alter in me would 'force' upon me, or made me thin about others, always stuffing and dividing everything up within myself.
This is what i meant with being forced to read God's Word. Not by other people, but by the force within myself, who i now term - the accuser of the brethren - and NOT the Voice of Jesus. And so Jesus taught me to heed reading God's word in love for God, myself and other, instead of my always seeing 'evil' eye. (Thankfully Jesus had me pluck that on out.😁)
For i know any 'force' inside my heart or mind making me feel bad about who i am, or about another and who they are, does not speak the Voice of Love or Truth like Jesus does, and i must be ignore at all times and hold onto the truth of my existence in Christ.
i hope this helps understanding my previous reply to you and why i replied like i did.
Blessings your way.
A poem i once wrote about all this crap living inside my heart and mind and its demise in me.
Carnal Minds Breed Desolation.
We know our carnal mind by the bad life gained heeding our flesh, (Ro 8:7)
those accusers in our minds our good inheritance sadly thresh. (Lu 15:11-32)
where we are forced to serve a self image that has us placed as least, (Col 2:8-23)
and our inner tormentors always rule our life that abominable Beast. (Dan 7:7, Matt 24:15)
Where unfaithful love only ever has us rule more dissatisfaction. (Is 29:8)
burning needs ruling our fleshly senses into the wrong direction. (Is 57:1-4 Rev 17:12-18)
For this is how we may know we are ruled by a destructive mind, (Col 2:21-23)
not heeding God's Loving truth but loveless lies robbing us blind. (Gen 4:16-17)
Where we wander from West to East, seeking the Father of light, (Ps 49)
us thinking The Light is doing what does not give us any insight. (Col 2:8)
satan's lies, like wormwood, embitter the fresh waters we crave, (Rev 8:10-11)
his lies condemning us in our deepest longings to a self dug grave.(Rom 8:5-8)
For we know depressive thoughts and feelings bring us trouble, (Ps 6:3)
our depressed minds turning all our inner good life into rubble, (Zech 10:2)
For the end of those heeding hurting lies is death's misery, (Eze 18:4b)
while anyone suffering pain with Christ in His good life will be. (Is 53 & 54)
For that ugly covenant with death sin made through satan's lies, (Is 28:18-22)
will not help our tormentors on the day of wickedness demise. (Rev 20:11-15)
The Seven Full Suns of Christ's love burning inner wrong away, (Is 30:26)
that built within through satan's lies shaping us in an untrue way. (Rev 19:11-21)
Overcome by lies that hurt does not please The Lord of Host, (Rom 8:8)
apart when we give up hurting life in that fallen angel's ghost. (Rom 8:13)
Depressed thinking dies our desolation when Jesus has come, (Is 5:24)
For our bad life will be upside down to what life is in God's Son. (Ps 146:9)
No self effort, nor self sacrifice, redeems from depressed mind, (Ps 53:2-3)
no must do, must not do, undo the shackles that us do bind. (Is 47:10-15)
faith in Jesus brings us the love and truth to die to our down, (Col 3:5)
life in Christ's Spirit will us with God's loving goodness crown. (Rom 8:10-11)
For faith in God's Son rewards us the freedom to wear Christ's golden crown, (1 Pet 5:4)
the blood of The Son making an end to the accusers voice bringing us down. (Rev 12:10-11)
Rather the grace and unconditional love of God has us live His Kingdom come, (Rom 5:18)
growing daily more inside our hearts after the likeness of God's first born Son. (Is 27:12-13)
