Seeking opinions and experiences of mindfulness

Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and experiences everybody.

@Former-Member I just read the following in the DBT manual and it super made me think of what you wrote regarding focusing on breathing. It seems you are definitely not alone in having the experience that you described.

Expecting breaths to become slow or deep, expecting any other specific type of breath, or expecting to relax or feel differently while practicing can induce panic responses and actually interfere with experiencing wise mind. For some individuals, simple focusing on breathing for any extended length of time is not possible.

For many, a focus on breath alone allows their mind to generate trauma memories, ruminating thoughts, and traumatic and/or painful images. Extreme emotion and/or dissociation may be the result. Others get agitated immediately when they focus on their breathing. For these individuals, a shaping process is needed, and it may take a long time and/or exposure-based treatment before meditative breath focus becomes possible...The difficulties those with severe disorders often have with meditation practices are the reason why DBT does not require meditation (i.e. focus on breath) for individuals who cannot tolerate it (Linehan, 2015, p. 175).

Thank you for sharing this, @Phoenix_Rising. It helps me to feel slightly less defective and abnormal.

Thanks @Phoenix_Rising,

yes, I believe it could be a problem when a therapist says "have you tried mindfulness?" and then doesn't even go into detail about what mindfulness is!! Very frustrating.

I mentioned one resource which I've tried- www.actmindfully.com.au

And another one I recommend, which I used frquently when I started out is marc.ucla.edu/meditation-at-the-hammer

More recently, I went to an amazing yoga class where I the teacher took us through a guided meditation called yoga nidra. Now I just tend to use my own version of yoga nidra when I want to do some meditation.

I might go back and look for a specific recording online that I think would help the majority of people (almost impossible) and which would save people listening to a wide range of things...

@Phoenix_Rising, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @utopia, @Shaz51

I did find a really great video that explains Mindfulness in depth and the science behind it. It does include a mindfulness guided practice about 15 minutes into the video.

It's from UCLA (University of California Los Angeles) where they have a mindfulness reseach centre.

www.marc.ucla.edu/video-gallery

It's the first video- "UCLA Health Lectures: Introduction to Mindful Awareness."

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@bookish wrote:

Thank you for sharing this, @Phoenix_Rising. It helps me to feel slightly less defective and abnormal.

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Are you sure you are defective and abnormal @Former-Member? People have used such terms to describe me, but I find that when I say them to myself I get icky feelings.

I am a-typical and quirky...and that's ok. I think you've mentioned that you see some similarities in our stories. I see that too. Maybe that means you are a-typical and quirky too???

Thank you so much for providing those links @Sahara. I am planning to post the first post re. mindfulness on the DBT thread on Monday. I'm anticipating spending 2-3 weeks covering mindfulness there. I had hoped to find the specific mindfulness exercises from the DBT manual online, but the few I found were done in either really robotic voices or with a strong American accent which bugs me (and thus I assume might bug others). I find it really hard to find mindfulness exercises that are done using a helpful tone. My yoga teacher is awesome at doing the "yoga voice" and I find it super calming. I really want to find some online exercises where the narrator uses that kind-of a tone.

To be honest, most of the time it feels like I can’t even ‘do’ mental illness ‘right’. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but knowing my thoughts and feelings are irrational and being able to change them are two very different things. Insight is only useful when you have the ability to make changes. (I know I do have that ability, but I also know I can’t do it alone—I need help.)

Atypical and quirky is okay. Unfortunately, my internal critic—that all-pervasive, really loud, really BIG self-hate—screams ‘defective and abnormal’. And because I’ve been hearing it constantly for almost forty years, it is much easier to hear (and believe) than ‘atypical and quirky’. 😕

I really do love the way you use harness the power of language, @Phoenix_Rising. I am always inspired by and learning from you. Thank you for being you. 🌷 🐢

Thank you for those links @Sahara

Hello @Former-Member, @Phoenix_Rising, @Appleblossom, @utopia

Hi @Phoenix_Rising and all.

I've used this yoga nidra before and found it really good. It has the beautiful "yoga voice" that you like so much @Phoenix_Rising.

www.doyogawithme.com/content/yoga-nidra-sleep

Hi @Former-Member,

Recognising that thoughts and feeling are irrational, and trying to change them, are definitely two very different things! I can relate to what you are saying about knowing you could make changes but that you need help. I have a huge amount of insight into my muddle, which is part of the problem in some ways because a lot of therapists find that intimidating. I am fully aware that my issues are fundamentally attachment based. This means that by definition, they can only be healed in the context of relationship. Attachment theory is one of my "special interests" so yep, I could pretty much write a book on why I am as I am and why I struggle with the things I do. But the only way to HEAL the muddle, is in relationship.

It sucks that your internal critic screams "defective and abnormal." I'm guessing it probably screams a whole lot of other unhelpful things too. Do you have a sense of who your internal critic is (it is totally ok if you don't want to answer that).

My internal critic screams that I am demanding and manipulative and utterly selfish and difficult and annoying and exhausting to be with and scary. Those are my "bad" words that various people have used to describe me over the years. It also screams that I am a stupid f*cking shit, a stupid f*cking borderline, a f*ucking irritant, f*cking evil, weird and creepy and a monster. That all comes from my abusive psychologist. It is often very very very loud!!!!!

In return, I tell my internal critic that I am atypical and quirky. I tell it that it's ok that I make oopsies sometimes because everybody makes oopsies. I tell it that I am doing the very best that I can and that's all anyone can ever do. I tell it that I am ok just as I am.

I wonder if there is anything at all that you might want to try telling your internal critic @Former-Member? I wonder if you could maybe try telling it that Phoenix_Rising, CheerBear and Zoe7 super like you...so obviously there must be something super likeable about you