Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

Hi @Former-Member

Good to see you reaching out for support on the forum again. I can hear that you are really struggling again today. It is quite an unreal time for many of us I guess. I hope you are able to keep yourself safe and supported. If you need support off the forum please consider the SANE Help Centre or the 24/7 helplines.

Take care

Whitehawk

I am "beyond help" (excluded) apparently - if I cannot effectively make use of Online alternatives to Real face-to-face contact & interaction.

So I was lead to believe, by a Helpline person.

Which would include anyone who does not have access to a computer (& internet).

Or who cannot effectively use it for Social means - due to Disability or chronic illness (of which I have several).

The examples given were Online Fitness classes, etc.

I do not agree with that very limiting assumption - yet it hits my confidence hard.

Adge

Troubled and sad I think about my younger sister. She was told she has cancer. She has had surgery and now one lot of chemo. I am really feeling deeply for her. I hate and cannot stand people I love hurting, in pain, and in suffering. It sort of breaks my heart. I would do anything I could to ease anything for her.

After the chemo she said she had a migrane type headache, felt nauseated, lost the sense of taste, had aching legs.

I am just finding the whole thing so sad. I want to be postive for her.

I try to have unconditional positive regard. To see the good in people that others might not see. To believe that they have potential.. To believe in their strengths when they don't see that themselves. To encourage them to find their strengths & help them to be brave.

But by doing that I risk and experience my own short comings. I get hurt frequently because others fail to appreciate my herculean efforts. I get disrespected, misunderstood and mistreated. I get ignored. My passion isn't their passion. They don't share my values and ideas. Should I even expect them to? Perhaps not an expectation but a mutual desire to try to be try positiveity and compassion.

I'm so tired. And hurt. And in emotional pain. I want to give up everything. Yet I know this is a cycle I will go through. And all will be OK in a few days, weeks. Until it happens again. And I question my existence on this planet. I question my purpose and goals. I question my worth. I question my values, my expectations. I question why do I allow my to care when suffering comes with being caring and compassionate.

Please don't respond to this here or elsewhere in the forums. It's just my mind musings that I needed to get out

I am absolutely terrified to go to work at the moment. I work in childcare and it is an impossible environment to social distance. Free childcare has now made our numbers skyrocket. It freaks me out knowing a lot of these kids can be kept at home but instead are putting each other, families, myself and other staff at risk. I am terrified to catch the virus having asthma and a history of an autoimmune condition. I am frustrated as hell that I came so far mental health wise to end up back in this headspace. I am so, so afraid. Other staff do not clean properly or understand why I am afraid of the risk and this makes me feel so much worse. It is scary and I am so afraid I will die due to working but I can't afford not to. My fiancee does not drive due to anxiety after a car accident and being on the spectrum making it a little more difficult so he is stuck on public transport to and from work. This also scares me as he doesn't always understand the level of precaution I take. I feel so alone and so afraid.

I am hurting. Hurting physically from my actions and hurting mentally from my thoughts. I just want to stop the hurt.

I feel really cheesed off right now - I rarely feel so irritated but today - I am

I went through a process to have a phonecall once a week from (an organisation) to keep in touch - a service available to older Australians

I got a call this morning - less than 2 minutes - very impersonal and intrusive - I don't need that

I had asked what these calls were about - I was told it could be anything I wanted it to be - and it was not even that so I rang to ask and that's all it is - an interruption call to see if I have survived a week and I have a MEPACS alarm and just triggering the line to let them know I am okay each morning gives me more satisfaction than that call I had this morning

I cancelled and I don't want to hear from them again when the six months between inviting me to be part of this - I am so angry I am not sure what to do with myself right now

So I will have a coffee and a shower - I am so annoyed right now

Feeling really nervous. I'm supposed to be getting a postal delivery today so am waiting for it but also trying to go about my day. I had wanted to get groceries this afternoon to avoid tomorrow's rush, but if I'm waiting for the postie then that's not going to happen.

The postie actually just came - I heard him yell out and saw that he was next door, so I was preparing myself in case he had the parcel but he drove past my place after a brief moment by the letterboxes. Must be too big for his bike, which is fine except I got myself all anxious for nothing and now I'm extra distracted every time I hear a vehicle close by.

I need to go down to check that he didn't just put a "you weren't home" card in the mailbox but I don't want my neighbour to watch me. And she will - it's not just paranoia, she watches everything.

Having people to contact, & spend personal time with When Groups & Activities Ressume - will make things much better.

My activity & social groups having all been cancelled (shut-down), left me with no contacts.

We communicated only face-to-face (in person), no-one has each other's phone number.

The expectation to "Do social interaction Online" is ridiculous - we don't have any way of contacting online (either).

Which is why my only social contact has been brief hello goodbyes with shop staff - for the past 2 weeks.

Adge