@Former-Member @Phoenix_Rising, thanks for replying. I'd prefer not to go into details of why I am upset, but I've just had a very rough day and when stuff like this comes up my head goes to very dark places and I don't have anyone to talk about it with.
I just make so many silly mistakes that really ruin my reputation and I get so embarrassed. It feels like I'm caught between wanting to be genuine, but upsetting people, and wanting to stay out of trouble, but being untrue to myself.
The thing that really sucks is that realistically, life doesn't get any easier. It just gets harder. I'm in my early 20's and I already can't cope. Sure, I am often described as intelligent, talented, and good...all that kind of stuff... but I just don't see any hope in my future.