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The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

I'm not sure if changes from medication, my new role as Community Guide or something else, but something has shifted & this time I hope it lasts. Unfortunately, these shifts in the past two years have lasted mere days, weeks or months before I slip back down the slippery slope of deep and persistent depression. I have an extremely long, slow and painful way to go yet before I can even begin to say that I've started to recover (or whatever you want to call getting better from MI, particularly BPD).

Being a CG seems to have given me renewed purpose and reasons to stay alive, as I feel that helping others in this role means being responsible for my own health & being a role model for others in their journeys. I know I'm not always going to get it 'right'. I'm human after all, with MI, and I have my own frailties & vulnerabilities.

But I'm also incredibly fed up and dissapointed in my life in the last year in particular. I never could never have imagined that I would be in the position that I'm in now, chronically suicidal, repeatedly in Emergency departments that I used to work in that now I'm ashamed to present as a patient & I'm judged by my own peers that I so previously admired & respected.

I been incredibly isolated recently, and I live in fear that my life will come to a premature end by my own doing. But I also been fortunate to have good professional clinicians that I have sought out myself, and had to sometimes fight for. And I have the love and respect of a dear family member which means the world to me.

Through my journey in the last year, my clinicians and I have worked through and adapted a strategy that focuses primarily on keeping my safe, responding appropriately to my frequent crises that I bounce to and from, and supporting my fragile emotional and social needs. It's been incredibly challenging, but I believe it's finally working to improve my life one day at a time.

So now I'm feeling a little stronger and able to take more control over my MI & working towards improving my days and finding purpose again. In order to do this, I've had to be more honest with myself, my clinicians and my personal support about my behaviours that are so harmful and risky, and I have had to trust them that I won't be judged all the time which has allowed me to break down some emotional barriers & I be supported wholly.

By being honest, I'm reducing my harmful behaviours, even though it places me at greater levels of distress and increases my vulnerability. But these levels of distress are also reducing in the span of time I'm staying distressed because I'm reaching out for help earlier.

My GP and psychiatrist whom I saw today are satisfied and agreeable with my current focus, yet are still cautious but suppotive me to assist in steering my own course. So what now? I insisted on staying on 2nd daily medication pick up for safety, weaning myself from sleeping medication even though my sleep patterns are so chaotic and lacking, improving my social interactions a little at a time, finding something to enjoy each day (even if it's the daft cat and his antics), and staying on ad medication for the time being.

Why do I tell you all this? Because I still need your support, encouragement, and occasional guidance to stay on track and keep me focused. Remind me of these goals occasionally, and come on this journey with me. I know you are doing this already, but this is my new chapter (obviously of a very long book).

Thanks for reading

@Former-Member@outlander@Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@Ant7@Bubbles3@Phoenix_Rising@Former-Member@Bunniekins@MDT@CheerBear@Owlunar@utopia

11230 replies

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In response to: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Just switching the convo over here @Teej

It's because I only have a few friends here and they are often busy with family, one is chronically unwell and the other has a very busy social life (we are more acquaintances really).

So I rarely go out with anyone, and when I do by myself, it's really difficult to see people in groups, happy, enjoying company and good times. But staying alone at home is equally difficult and lonely. I can tolerate being alone; being lonely is hard.

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

I had a feeling that was the case @Sans911 . I get it. I get it so much. When I was in the 'happy' family my weekends would be so full. I craved time alone. Then I became alone and craved the busy weekends. I have been a big chicken and isolated myself on weekends because I don’t want to see others out having a good time. Even if I had friends to do things with I can’t, because financially I can’t. My life changed very drastically.

I am usually home on a weekend by myself entirely. I’ve learned to live with that now. I still struggle because there are things I’d love to do but have this need to be able to share them with someone else. Even if I was just sitting next to someone I cared about and we didn’t feel like talking I would feel connected. Just recently I made a new friend irl who has a complex mi. I went out with her on a Saturday drive and loved it. The thing is that we haven’t been able to catch up since. I’m writing that because I have hope that you’ll find someone to do something on a weekend. For me now I am learning to accept that if I have a nice interaction on a Tuesday then that’s good. I’m trying to let go of the notion that the weekends are something special. I’m ok with that for now. My weekend could be a Friday group session or a family tea or watching a great movie on Netflix and enjoying it my myself. It’s not great but it’s a work in progress of acceptance and maybe changing the notion of a weekend.

I hope this this doesn’t sound preachy. It really is just what I’m coming to terms with currently.

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

You've said pretty much the same reasons I have. Very spot on. And not preachy at all @Teej.

I think that's why I enjoy the op shop on Saturday. I get out, am around people but I don't feel sad because I'm working.

I spent much of the last 20 years working weekends so it didn't bother me at all. But the last 2-3years not working has been much harder.

I have a friend as I said before that I can go out with, but she has multiple, chronic and limiting health problems so it's quite restrictive for me to go out with her. I like hiking & walks which she can't do, and she runs out breath very easily.

I still can't accept that weekends are not special, because you go out and everywhere you go you are surrounded by people. I'm trying to accept that I will likely live the rest of my life alone, and that's just how it has to be. I have no desire for a partner, but maybe some extra friends would be nice.

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Hearing you both @Teej @Sans911 .

There is an element of that to my life. I took myself out for dinner alone last night cos mr. had fed the crew (without communicating first) and headed to the gym. Looks like he will have to have surgery on that knee, so won’t be jogging for a while, if ever again, so the same kms are happening on a exercise bike aka non weight bearing .....

At the moment he is working with me to try to maintain a family household, without the marriage status being functional. As long as that lasts I am not truly on my own, but as my dragons gain independence and leave, it will only be D2 at home with us at some point.

The most dramatic life change happened for us 10 years ago, then another one last year with the interstate move and physical disconnect from friends.

Part of being here for me is to help stave off that feeling of lonliness. The only other thing I can think of, for all of us and any others here who are without company to do things, is to seek out community groups in the hope of finding others in the same position, and joining forces.

I know you have your volunteer groups @Sans911 , and it can be hard to keep trying to break the ice, but is there any other sort of group you would want to try ?

My art course is about as much as I can manage for now, but it is not providing that out-of-hours socialisation.

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

I can ditto the I have no desire for a partner but some friends that I can do some simple things would be nice @Sans911 .

Fixit brain suggestion. Here in my city there are all woman hiking, walking groups that meet up. I’m not sure of the expense but maybe they could be a way of filling that need and meeting people with that similar interest. I think that when the big things of this year (legal stuff and two surgeries) have passed I might try joining an interest group. Don’t ask me what yet as I change my mind more than I change my underwear 😳😜🤣

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

@Faith-and-Hope The situation you are in is just as bad if not worse with loneliness because you have to put up with that behaviour too. I don’t miss that at all. I have total compassion for you with this.

Looks like we were on the same page with interest groups 💜🤗

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

@Faith-and-Hope @Teej

I used to be a regular member of walking and hiking groups a few years back, but I can't hike at the moment due to my levels of tiredness. Some of the hikes are quite challenging.

I do walk up to 4xtimes/week with two different walking groups.

I find with all the appointments I have, study, volunteer and mh advocacy work that I do, it is all I can manage (or not manage).

I have tried other groups on Meetup, but I find if they are well established then it can be hard to 'fit in' with them. It was just too ackward and anxiety producing, so I stopped.

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

@Sans911 It sounds like you are doing everything you can do at this stage. Maybe some kindness to you and acknowledging that is what is more helpful. It takes time to work through these thing. In September it will have been 8 years for me. I’m only just starting to accept things more gently now. I’m not saying it will take you that long. Be kind to you, you very much deserve that kindness. It’s ok to hate weekends for now, let’s just hope there will be a time it doesn’t matter as much.

I need to head off for now. If I have any chance of achieving today’s goals I’d better get out of bed at 1.05. 🤨. I hope volunteering helps take your mind of this.

Hugs 💜🤗

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

@outlander 💜 💜

In response to: Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

Re: The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

@Sans911 💜💜💜
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