The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

You know @outlander you can join in any time. I can relate to @Sans911 for some of how we deal with our emotions and si, sh etc. our lives have been very different.

@Sans911 Just know I guess I have this two sided thing going on. I’m hoping that the new therapy will help. I am incredibly frightened as to exploring the deep stuff. I already know her job will be to push my buttons. I’ve not had that before so much. Everyone’s been too scared to because of the way I react.

@TeejI am glad you are having some dinner; I did as well.

I have only just started sessions with a new pyschologist, so no, haven't got to exploring that stuff yet. Right now, we are both trying to keep me alive in one way or another.

Sounds like DBT doesn't help you so much. It works for me at times, but like anything, needs constant practice. Yes, I agree, the younger ones got a lot more out of it. My lil forum Sister is around, and I am sure she is reading this. I am trying to get her to come out and talk to us, but she doesn't want to. Maybe she is upset with me, I don't know.

It's interesting that you say your SI has gotten more real. Mine has been incredibly real each time too, but it waxes and wanes in intensity. Sometimes it is about shutting down, other times I want out.

why would i be upset with you? @Sans911 you havent done anything wrong.

i just cant think of anything to say, i dont want to overwhelm you or anyone else. brains in abit of overload thats all

I am glad you come out to say hi @outlander. I thought perhaps you might be upset because I haven't been able to talk to you much in the last few days, yet I could with someone else.I know you understand me very well, better some other people in my rl. I was worried too about making you feel worse with everything else you have going on in your life.

What's happening today to make you feel overwhelmed. Was it the incident yesterday?

I’m so glad you have someone who is working to keep you alive @Sans911. DBT is helpful for lots of things. I have a love hate relationship with it. I am glad I did it though. I learned lots.

I think that for me some milestones have made it easier for me to suicide which make it sometimes more intense. I had always felt that responsibly a bit to stay here until my baby was 18. Not cool I know but now he is and has his whole life ahead of him and is stable it’s made me have less protective factors. I guess it’s not worth going into that much just now.

I dont know @Sans911. In my guts it feels like you are meant to be here to save others. That you’ll find reward and purpose and fulfilment that way some how. I see the amazing talents and know you are a pretty awesome person. It’s so hard when we see it for each other but we are always the exception.

Oh boy @outlander-talk about twin posting!!!! We both said the same thing, just in different ways. Spill, my angel, I am fine to hear I your worries. You know when I do that, my troubles loose focus.

@outlander I feel the same for you. The other day I read some of your posts and had to double take because they were so mature and thoughtful and well written for someone your age. I do think DBT might help you but you have to find a purpose too. There has to be a reason to practice all the skills.

I'm not trying to pull you into a conversation you may not want to have @Teej, but even though your son is an adult, why do you think perhaps your loss would be less intense for him? I get though what you are saying about his adulthood being less of a protective factor, as he can take of himself.

Oh @Teej I don't see myself as awesome and amazing at all. I've not done anything particularly extraordinary. I'm nobody special. You've turned the tears on with that paragraph. But I think that anything most of us have experienced in these forums makes us extraordinary for surviving most traumas & horrors that others have no inkling of.