I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

@outlanderyea about the meds, which is understandable

@outlanderI'll be ok sis, take care

How else can i help myself..? That is actually a question im not being a smart alic as i realise it sound like that but im not teying to be one...

Hi @outlander, This is my last stop in Forum Land before I go and try to be a bit productive here in the real world.

I think one thing we can all super work on in even the most difficult situations is our use of language. Our language can shape our thinking, which in turn can shape how we feel. For example, the objective reality is that I have very severe issues - far more severe than comes across in Forum Land. That is why I am currently searching for my 13th therapist in 18 months. If I was to keep telling myself that I have severe mental health issues, that would fuel feelings of despair and hopeless. This is why I choose to instead use words like "muddle" and "pickle." Being in a muddle sounds far less overwhelming than having severe mental health issues. It doesn't in any way change the objective reality of my situation, but it helps me to FEEL better. So the way I see it, if I can't change my situation, then I have two options; be in the situation and feel utterly horrendous, or be in the situation and feel less horrendous. I can't change the situation, but I can change the way I feel.

Another example I've learnt along the way is that rather than saying "I can't do it" I will often say "I can't do it right now." I used this a lot at uni when I was struggling too much to be able to complete an assignment or whatever. Saying "I can't do it" sounds very final and thus fuels a sense of hopelessness, whereas "I can't do it right now" engenders a sense of hope that I will be able to do it later.

Another example that springs to mind is how often I use the words "I choose..." This helps me to have a sense of control over the bits of my life that I CAN control, and this helps to stave off feelings of helplessness.

Is this making sense? Again, the language I choose to use (there, I said "I choose" again ) does not in any way change my objective reality, but it does change the way I feel.

Ok, well I have to go and try to be productive now.

Morning @outlander

What @Phoenix_Rising has so well illustrated in her post is exactly the point I was trying to make re: the self-fulfilling prophecy. The language we use, the way we phrase things in regards to ourselves and the emotions behind our words we turn inwards towards ourselves and start to believe our own negativity.

By continuously using words such as can't, useless, mistake, etc. you are infact internalising these words (that is making them part of your mindset) and that is reinforcing your own negative view of yourself. We have looked at this together before and re-phrased negative words/statements that you have made about yourself to be more positive - that is what @Phoenix_Rising has also suggested and is infact what the 'Zoe Method' is all about.

As well as looking at the language you use - it may be advantageous to also look at the emotions you are feeling when you post. Often your emotions are extremely heightened when you post (this is not a good or bad thing as what you feel and your emotions are completely valid) and that comes out in the words/phrases/statements you write. It may be worthwhile for you again to carefully consider what you post before you post. I know we have also discussed this previously but I think it is worth considering again. By re-reading what you write before you post you are infact also looking from the 'outside in' on your own emotions - you are externalising what is internal in a way. You can take a more objective look at what you are feeling and then decide if your 'situation' is infact exactly how you have written it or if the emotions in the moment have increased the severity for you. I am in no way saying that what you are dealing with at any given moment is not difficult - what I am saying is that sometimes we get 'caught in the moment' and cannot see past that point in time - and by taking a step back for even a few seconds the initial emotions lessen and we can think more clearly about the 'situation'. You can then write exactly what you are struggling with in a much more objective way.

By doing this we (as in other members) may then have a much clearer idea of exactly where you are at and exactly what kind of support you need/are looking for. It may be that you just need to 'get things out' or there is something specificthat you have identified that you need help with. By knowing this (or at least trying to identify it for yourself first) others are then much better placed also to provide the appropriate level of support to you.

I hope this makes sense to you @outlander - I know it is alot but it is also very much what we (and others here) have 'talked' about with you before.

This is a difficult 'journey' for you - that is not in anyway to be trivialised - but it is also a time in your life when you need to find your own identity and own path in life - neither of which are at all easy. My hope for you is that 'we' here on the forum can help you to do all this in a more postiive way and support you in finding who you are truly meant to be - and that you will grow and thrive in the future as a result

@Zoe7@Phoenix_Rising

sorry to make it impersonal but we are all discussing the same thing so will just join it up into one.

So its all about trying to change my mindset and I guess in a way trying to turn it around to see the positives aswell rather than panicing and thinking only in the very short term and not knowing to do. Trying to make the most of whatever ths situation might be and trying to work out the best options whether its having the answer straight away, sitting and waiting for an answer or weighing up each option that I can think of and weigh up the pros and cons.

So despite the situation im and knowing just how shite it is, try to find ways to feel better about it. Find the different language that suits me or find helps to not feel so overwhelmed and crappy.

So things like not saying 'I cant do it' but rather 'I cant do it right now' or 'I dont feel up to doing that right now'....

would it be worth trying to use the 'Zoe Method' for my current situation to see where I can turn this around? I need to try and work out what I want/need to do in regards to therapy, medications and whatever else that needs to happen but right now above all how can I better what it is im not doing enough of and work out what else I can do to try. Work smarter, not harder.

Im aware I cant do it all on my own and do need that support from mh professionals not just from my forum family but I still need to work out what the next best option is and where to go from here in regards to those mh professionals.

So again go back and really reinforce my forum plan. Ill have to find it again and have a better read and see where im missing things. So before posting really read what im writing, see if it makes sense, see how right it really is- as in is it because im in a state I cant comprehend it or is it actually the situation.

@Queenie@Former-Member@Former-Member

i thought i was doing enough. i work, study, take time out when i can, implement coping strategies as needed, go to gp, psychologist and psychiatrist and follow their instructions, eat well, excerise, sleep as well as i can (room for alot of improvement but im working on that) try and do the things i would normally enjoy as well as occassionally trying new things as well.